omgosh! has it really been 3 months?

Wow. Its been 3 months since last post. Time is flying by and I haven't been keeping up with it at all well. I don't really have any photos organized to show updates, but I was lovingly reminded today it was time to be heard from again. *sheepish grin*

OK. PJ is now 21 months old. He's wonderful and amazing. He's stubborn, spoiled and demanding. And he's mine all mine. He walks perfectly, we bought a little ladder and ball pit (blow up baby pool with 300 balls) He learned how to climb the ladder in one PT session, and now does it for fun, even when no one's looking. 300 balls might have been a little excessive, since he loves throwing them all over the house, hiding them under furniture, in the couch cushions, wherever. And as soon as he sees us start collecting them to return them to the pool, well, that's his cue to start emptying the pool again. Oh, its so cute. (ahem)

His vocabulary is still pretty minimal, words recognized are, momma, daddy, becca, banana, ball, diaper, hey, kitty and woof woof. WE recognize them most of the time, you might not. example his word for diaper sounds a lot like bopper. I know the understanding is there, because when I tell him "come on, PJ, lets go change your diaper, he races me to his room, where the changing table and diapers are.

In a 3 month period, he gained approx 3 pounds, and about an inch and a half, hes still a short little chubster, and he will likely always be, and thats just perfect.

He also has lately tried breathing under water in the tub! Not good. You'd think he would have figured THAT out after the first try. He came up choking and panicked and puking water, oh it was scary, and the very next bath, he tried again. Dear Lord. I was RIGHT THERE. He was sitting nicely, splashing, playing with toys. and then boom, from a seated position, in like zero seconds, his face is in the water, and then he's scrambling to get out, scared and choking. And this has happened twice. Jiminy Christmas! My nerves! He's still alive.

Becca got her final report card, she stayed AB honor roll all year. It's late, and we're all good, sorry for the length of time between posts, I'll try to be better.

Hugs all around.

WDSD

Today is World Down Syndrome Day. *(thanks to Ecki and Meredith for the reminders!) Today, March 21 was chosen for this day because Down syndrome means to have a 3rd copy of the 21st chromosome. 3/21. As did Ecki (www.oppositekids.blogspot.com) about Kayla, I'm giving you 21 things about PJ.

1. He is 18 months old, and still takes a bottle to go to sleep. (It's our cuddle time - is my excuse, truthfully, he's just not ready to have it taken from him)

2. He has the most beautiful blue eyes. They are almond shaped. He lucked out with some recessive blue eyed gene and is the only one in our immediate family with them.

3. He saw me snap my fingers a few weeks ago, and now often tries to snap his fingers.

4. He doesn't seem to have any problem with sensory issues, especially when it comes to food. He loves everything, except hes not too high on vegetables.

5. He started walking at 16 months, but will not keep shoes on. Anytime we go anywhere the moment he's in his car seat, shoes AND socks are off. I'm sure I get judged for having my barefoot boy out in all kinds of weather, but he will not keep them on.

6. He usually has 1 two hour nap, and goes to bed by 8pm, and sleeps until 6-8 am.

7. He says "bah!" which sometimes means bath, other times it means ball. He says nana, for banana, mama, dada, behbah (becca). I'm thinking speech is where his biggest delays are.

8. He is now waiving and saying "hey" which for those of you who don't live in the south, "hey" means "hi". He waives and says hey to anybody who'll look at him in the grocery store, at wall-mart, wherever he happens to be.

9. His favorite television show is "Jacks Big Music Show". 2nd place is the Wiggles.

10. On 3.16.09 he weighed in at 23 lbs 4 oz, and measured 29 inches long. (He's a shorty, even on the DS growth chart.)

11. He recently got to have Wendy's chicken nuggets for the first time, and he definitely wants them again.

12. PJ loves music, and loves to dance. It's a funny sight, watching him dance, I'll try to get a video of it one of these days to share.

13. He has a mouth full of teeth, he's probably missing 4 to 6 still, but I think more are coming in now, because he's drooling. The bottom teeth are crooked, but the top look pretty straight.

14. He's finally taking an interest in books.

15. One of his favorite "games" is throwing toys over the baby gate into the kitchen. He also likes to take small items and push them under his sister's door, or the bathroom door, if that's where she happens to be.

16. PJ is obsessed with (ok, less than obsessed, but has a strong interest in) electrical cords. He will struggle to get behind the entertainment stand or behind the computer desk to yank on the cords. We finally gave him an extension cord to play with, which seems to have helped.

17. He has become afraid of the vacuum, but is still fascinated by the sound the bathtub makes when the water is draining.

18. Bath-time is one of his favorite times of the evening, even if he's tired and grumpy, I can count on bathtime chearing him up, at least while he's in the tub. Once he's out, he's grumpy again.

19. PJ loves animal crackers, but I have to break them up, and give him one piece at a time, or he'll shove the whole thing in his mouth and end up choking. He doesn't quite get the idea of moderation, or bite sized.

20. He adds more to our family than I could ever explain or describe, and I'm honored to be his mom.

21. He's definitely NOT happy all the time, that's a misconception. He's happy alot, but he has his mean, angry, pouty, defiant times, too. But then again, he's his daddys boy, right?

A death in the family

A death in the family…

My mother-in-law passed away on Monday. Heaven has a new angel, one that can now run, and breathe, and play. The whole family is so sad. She was only 51 years old. She’d been sick for a long time, but was still very much a part of the family. She loved her family so much. She was such a loving and kind woman. She was patient and generous with her time, she did not speak badly of people. She did not push her opinion. She had learned lessons in life that I still struggle with, and had such a peace. She loved Jesus and prayed without ceasing. In my presence she was never judgmental or critical of others. She looked for and found the best qualities in a person and focused on those, rather than seeing one’s shortcomings. She loved her children and grandchildren, her husband, her mother and her siblings. I am proud to have known her. I feel as if she helped me to become a better person, a better wife, a better mother. I wish that I had spent more time learning from her. Why is it that we often get so busy in life that we fail to realize how special someone is until we are left without them? Or is it only me?

None of the old mother in law jokes ever applied. I was always good enough for her son, and she never stopped telling me. I love you Suzie. I will miss you terribly.

Yes, for those who might've been wondering....

I'm still alive. It's been quite some time since I took the time to sit down and post. And I apologize if that's an issue for anybody but me. I doubt that it is, but in case, it really wasn't meant to leave you out in the cold, it's just taking me this long to get it all together. I started my new full time job about 5 weeks ago. I work Monday - Friday, 8am to 5pm, but I'm gone from the house from 7am to 6pm. PJ's usually wanting to go to bed between 7 and 8, so all of a sudden I have precious little time to spend with my very favorite little boy. It's a real bummer, but honestly I don't see any way to "fix" it. Daddy works in HVAC installation for new construction. The economy in NC is as bad if not worse than anywhere else in the country and there's absolutely NO new construction going on here, so, no job for daddy. His new job is the stay at home parent. He's doing a pretty good job of it, although many days I come home and PJ is still in the pajamas he woke up in. ugh. Well, hopefully the weather will start allowing them to go outside and play in the yard, and clothes will be more important to them.

PJ is doing so well gross motor wise, he's walking all around, he loves to squat down, pick up a toy, then stand back up without any support and go on his merry way. His last check up at the DS clinic at duke gave me these stats on him:

50th percentile on the DS growth chart for height, 75th percentile for weight, and 90th percentile for head. (big brains, need more room!)

He's got many teeth, they look pretty straight on the top, but crooked on the bottom. Theyre just baby teeth, so whatever. He waives hi and bye, claps, signs "more", gives big wet kisses (when HE chooses) Says mama, dada, baba (for Becca) nana (for banana, and according to Daddy, walked over to him the other day saying "hey" "hey" with a stinky diaper, as if to let daddy know it was time to change him. Pretty neat, huh?

Becca's doing wonderfully, she has a few good friends at school, she goes to church every Sunday with her grandma, and this past quarter was an all A honor roll student. I'm very proud of her.

That's about it for us, and now PJ is awake and I must go hang out with my little guy, I LOVE the weekends! Oh, and please don't think I'm not reading your blogs, even when I don't comment, I'm reading, trying to stay caught up.

Take care, my friends!

Look Who's Walkin'!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, at 16 months of age, my amazingly brilliant little man is taking steps!  His PT got him to walk across the room a week ago, him wailing and mad the whole time, but she told me when she left, that before she comes back in 2 weeks, he'd start practicing on his own, and guess what? She knows her stuff! Yesterday he started, and today Daddy was able to catch a bit of what we're excited about around here.  Yay PJ!!

 

I've started a new job, and Daddy is being Mr. Mom. It's very difficult for each and every one of us in the family. The job is from 3pm to 12midnight, which I've never done before, so it's real hard getting the required sleep for a number of reasons.  It's hard to wind down and go to bed, PJ is not LOVING the new arrangements, since I've always been the one to put him to bed AND he's getting a few teeth, so he's being fussy. I ALMOST NEVER get to see my daughter Rebecca because she leaves the house at 7am for the school bus, and I can't get up by then if I only fell asleep at like 3. I'm gone by the time she gets home from school. I miss her. And she misses me. Daddy's doing a great job, and getting all the quality time he could ask for with PJ and Becca. She's a big help to him, playing with her brother and giving Daddy a break.

Financially things are at an all time low. My first paycheck isn't until the 30th, and I'm not sure I'll have enough gas to get back and forth to work.  I had to borrow $20.00 from mom last week for diapers.

PJ's stomach seems to be getting better. I almost hate to write about it, for fear of jinxing the whole situation. I'm not sure if it's the Prevacid in higher doses, or if it's just that his muscles are finally getting the strength they need to move the food down, instead of up and out.  He was seen last Monday at the pediatrician, and he had gained 10 ounces from his check up on 12/15, so that's terrific. His vomiting is much less, for the past few weeks. We are thankful.

New Year News

I finally got the results of the biopsies from PJ's endoscopy. As suspected, the only thing that came back was mild esophagitis, and he switched PJ from prilosec to prevacid, and doubled the dosage from the previous rx that PJ's pediatrician had prescribed. (was 7.5mg daily, now is 15 mg daily.) I also told the nurse I spoke with that I had decided to withhold the Reglan from PJ until we had tried other "fixes" as I was not comfortable giving it to him at this time. He's actually been vomiting a little less for the past few days, and I've been giving him pediasure mixed with cereal at night before bed (when he normally doesn't vomit) to try to help him gain weight. We'll see the Ped. GI in a month and see how he's doing, and if necessary, see what else we can do.

I got a job!!!! I start training this coming Monday. Thank you to everybody who prayed and sent positive wishes.   Now please don't get me wrong. I am happy to have a job. I will work hard and enjoy my work, and be a valued employee.  BUT... It's really NOT the ideal job, or at least I don't see it as such at this time. My hours will be from 2:30 pm to 11:00 pm, And I will have Wednesday and Sunday off. I've never worked a shift like this and have always had 2 consecutive days off, always the weekends, so It's going to be different, and PJ will definitely miss me at bedtime. It's our cuddle time, and daddy is great, but he's not me. Becca will miss my homework help in the afternoons, too. But, it will be nice to have a weekday off, and I've already started trying to reschedule PJ's future Dr appointments to Wednesdays.  When the economy picks up, and Daniel can once again have a good job, we'll re-evaluate who needs to be home.  (I'm hoping it's going to be me :o) 

Anyway, I wanted to leave you with some PJ. The videos are poor quality (cheap little no name digital camera), but it's still my darling boy!

mmm, sgetti.

New Year

Has GOT to be better, please?

PJ had his endoscopy the other day, and did just fine, he did NOT cry all the way to the hospital because he was starving, which was something I really worried about. He actually fell asleep on the way, even though he slept all night. Sweet! The Dr. said that everything LOOKS normal, but got biopsies and we'll have those results early next week.

In the mean-time, I met a lady in the waiting room who's little 2 month old baby girl was having OHS. I encouraged her, telling her that I "know" (in the online community) a bunch of little ones who had to have ohs and they do SO well. During our wait for PJ's procedure she mentioned to me that her baby's doctors had her on Reglan. A drug used to move food through the stomach faster, in order to gain some weight. I hadn't ever heard about it. So...

The day after the scoping, as PJ was vomiting everywhere, which is what he does after EVERY meal, I called the GI and asked why couldn't PJ be on Reglan while we waited for the biopsy results, just to keep SOME calories in him, he's lost a pound in the last 2 weeks!! (That's 5% of his body). So, he said ok, but I was to call him immediately if I saw any side effects. So, I began to look up Reglan and the effects that can occur, and spoke with Leah on the phone who told me about 2 kids that she knew of that had seizures because of Reglan, (Thanks again, Leah!) and I decided to just wait and see what GI recommends after biopsy comes back. I called the pharmacy and told them never mind. I really don't want to put PJ on a medicine that can have horrible side effects just to keep a cleaner house. It would be different if he were in pain, or if he were dehydrated. I know, I AM worried about the weight loss, but a few more days isn't going to make that big of a difference, I hope. It's hard to know always, the right things to do for a baby.

On another topic, now that the holidays are over, we are hoping and expecting to be able to find a job. One of us. Please God. Things are pretty scary for us right now. I won't go on and on, but believe me.

So, I hope that 2009 is a better year for everyone. I don't love money, I just hate not having ANY. And that's where we are. Please God.

PJ updates

Hi all, time for an update on the development of my son. PJ was seen on 12/15 for his 15 month check up. He weighed in at 20 lbs, 4 oz (just under the 50th percentile on the Down syndrome growth chart) and measured 28" long (just over the 10th percentile on the same chart) What does this mean? It means he's a shorty, and his weight gain has slowed down a lot.

The reason for the slow weight gain is because he's been spitting up/vomiting since July. At first I thought it was just baby reflux, and his Dr. put him on zantac, and all the advice I got pretty much said, well, as he gets more mobile, more upright, you'll likely see this lessen. OK, I patiently waited. (right, not so patiently) He became more mobile, and more upright, the spitting up continued. We switched him to prevacid and his pediatrician had a swallow study and an upper GI done. Results? Mild and infrequent aspiration, no thin liquids. OK. We also had a referral to see a pediatric gastroenterologist, but the first appointment they could get me was for November. OK, while waiting for that to happen, we switched from Prevacid to Prilosec. No change. A few people said that maybe at one year, when he changed from formula to whole milk things would get better. Well, they did not. In fact, it was worse in that the milk would come up curdled, and talk about STINK? ugh. So, I'm thinking, lactose intolerance? I switched him to soy milk. A day or two of relief, but then the spitting up started right back up. I gave up on the reflux meds and eventually the spitting up became acidic. You know, VOMIT. Stinky vomit. (ok, sorry) So, he's back on the prilosec, it doesn't stop the vomit, but it will at least keep the acid down to avoid damaging the esophogus.

We saw the Ped. GI in November and his thought is Celiac Disease. (intolerance to gluten, found in wheat) The way to treat? Gluten free diet for life. He drew blood, BUT, (says the Dr.) the blood test is often inconclusive, can give false positive, so the REAL test for Celiac is an endoscopy. It's scheduled for 12/31. It was scheduled earlier, but we had to postpone because PJ got congested, and they wont do it while there's congestion. So, the throwing up continues, laundry for PJ happens all the time. I really don't think it's Celiac disease. There's a few OTHER things it can be, and they are all taken care of with surgery. I don't look forward to any of it. Whatever the problem, I'm just not happy about it.

I spoke with the Nurse at the Ped GI Yesterday (12/17), and she indicated that it is NOT Celiac, and that false positives sometimes occur, but not so much false negatives. Yay)I also spoke with Leah on the phone the other day, and she gave me a lot of ideas about what could it be, and helped me to make a list of questions to ask the Dr for further diagnostic tests and questions. (Thank you so much, Leah!)

On the other hand, PJ is a mostly happy baby, crawling all over the place, pulling to stand, and now standing up without assistance. He can stand 30 seconds or so without holding onto anything, and any minute now he's going to start walking. (*fingers crossed*) He babbles a lot, different sounds, yells a lot, loves his big sister Rebecca, claps his hands, gives high fives, plays peek-a-boo, puts his hands up for "so big", and is really "on the go"

I'll update again after the endoscopy. Or before if something else happens.

One other thing - a question for anyone - you know the little things we put on our blogs that show the our kids ages? The tickers? I would sure love a ticker that I could update with weight and height growth, for keeping track purposes. Anybody familiar with that? Or anybody smart enough to create one? I can't be the only person who would be interested in one, right?

Fa la la la la la la la la la.

Hi folks and Merry Christmas. I know I've been a bit scarce of late, and I think it must be a personality trait of mine, when I get stressed out, I become silent. Sometimes it's a good thing, and sometimes not so good. I'm going to be asking you for help, so a brief rundown is called for:

Daniel's unemployment ran out 3 weeks ago. We continued to file for benefits, because that's how you access the emergency unemployment. Well, a week or so later he got a letter in the mail that he had not paid in enough to qualify for the emergency unemployment benefits. Normal unemployment here in NC is 26 weeks. Daniel got 13 weeks. I guess because of the amount of time he worked here in NC, or maybe the dollar amount. I don't know, I can't figure out the "ever changing to not help out those in need" rules from day to day. Sorry, I don't mean to sound bitter, in fact, I'm a happy person even with no money. The problem is, My landlord isn't of the mind that just because we lost our income that we get a "pass". The Electric company, same thing. The house we live in is all electric, and we've had an unseasonably cold Autumn, so the heat has been running, and the light bill is $180.00 this month. My mom has made sure that the kids have a Christmas. It will be lighter than the norm, but that's ok, my kids are loved and don't need much. I know I should ask my church for help, but to be honest, I haven't gone to church. I will, I need to, I want to, BUT... How hypocritical to start going just to ask for help? I can't do it. That's why I'm here, laying it on the line to you. Those of you who "know" me because we've been "e-friends" for awhile, know that this is not something I do on a regular basis, nor have I ever done. I just hope that some of you are in a position to help. I'm looking for work, have been to two staffing agencies and on one interview, which that company is looking to interview a few more people next week and make a decision the week after that. I'm told I'm in the running for that one, and I certainly hope for the best, but if they haven't already decided on me, who says they will?? I look everyday for work, send off my resume whenever I see something I can do, but I know that I'm not anywhere near the only person in the same boat, and I don't know how long it will be before there's actually an income. Daniel installs HVAC units in new construction homes. New construction does not exist in NC right now due to the economy. One of us needs to stay home with PJ, because we don't have, nor can we afford daycare. It SHOULD be easier for me to find work than Daniel; he looks everyday, but there's nothing out there for him right now.
My mom, on a very limited income, will of course let us move back in with her, if it comes to that. Let me just say that I will do that if it comes to that, but NONE of us want to move, and especially into her little house. There's really no room for us. I just think that with another month or two, one of the two of us can land a job so that we can remain independent.
So that's where we are. In my profile there are a few different ways to get a hold of me, or you can comment here and I'll send you my address, If you are in a position to help. This is not easy, but we really need a hand. If you've made it to the end of this post, thank you for reading. Thank you for caring.

This - that and the other

Time for an update, since it's been nearly a month. PJ started getting teeth, a bunch at once, and in the wrong order. He's not been the happiest of campers, as it seems that all 4 molars are making an appearance. At last look/feel, he has two front(ish) bottom teeth, both bottom molars, and a bottom side tooth, all broke thru our just about. On top the 2 front teeth are showing thru the gum, but haven't broken thru yet, but one of the molars has, and the other one is swollen and red, but not thru. Needless to say, I'm sleepy. :o) PJ's throwing up has diminished greatly since putting him on soy, but NOT completely gone away. Yesterday was his initial visit (finally) with the Pediatric gastroenterologist out at Duke. We got to stop by and see Ethan and his mom, Kristen for a few minutes, but PJ had totally missed all naps yesterday, and was having a spitty day, so we didn't stay long, but Ethan looks GREAT! Kristin, it was really nice seeing you!

On to PJ's appt. They took blood, specifically to test for Celiac. I'm not very familiar with this, but according to the dr, it does affect kids with DS at a higher rate. He went on to tell me that at PJ's age, the blood test may have a false positive or a false negative, so we scheduled an endoscopy to know for sure. This will happen next week, Wednesday. Daniel was scratching his head, "why take blood if the results are inconclusive????!!!!" My only guess is that it's a required step in the protocol? Whatever. I just want to know that my little guy is healthy, and get him to a point where we aren't dealing with puke ALL THE TIME!

Rebecca got her first quarter end report card last week, and she's on the A/B Honor roll, and if it weren't for Science (which she says is REALLY HARD), it would have been "A" honor roll. She's taking her education seriously, and I'm very proud of her.

Daniel is still unemployed, and his unemployment will be running out in about a month. I'm looking for full time work, one of us HAS to bring in something to live on, we have no savings. Hopefully the economy will turn around soon so that construction will start up again, so HE can work. Wish me luck!!

That's about it for now.

Hugs to all.

Are you Kiddin' Me???

I'm so disgusted with myself and my ability to figure out my little boy I could just cry. He's 13 and a half months old, and been throwing up since July!!! His "reflux" started about the time he started his thyroid medicine, and I automatically assumed it was the meds. Back and forth on the phone with the endocrinologist who insisted it was not the meds, but humored me and switched brands to prove to me that it wasnt. Well, he was right. It didn't matter which thyroid med we used, PJ continued to throw up. It didn't seem to ever really bother him, but man what a mess! Sometimes a few minutes after a bottle, sometimes a few hours. Never any pattern. Usually liquid, but every now and then some consistency after a meal, as he eats pasta and other easy to manage foods. The pediatrician put him on Zantac. It did nothing. So then she put him on Prevacid. This really didn't help, either, so then she put him on Prilosec. Really not much difference, if any at all. He has an appointment late in November with a ped.G.I, but in the mean time, what do I do???? Ok, so, he finally runs out of formula, and last week I switch him to whole milk. I'm looking forward to seeing some improvement, as I've heard this can help. After a day on whole milk, the throw up changes consistency and odor. It becomes cottage cheese in his tummy, and comes up stinkin'! At this point, I've waited for him to become more mobile and upright, understanding that this will help sometimes, It didn't. Then I wait to change him to whole milk, understanding that this sometimes helps. It didn't. I went to the store and bought a half gallon of Silk Soy (vanilla) and started him on it yesterday. He's had a few small spit ups, maybe what's normal for a 13 month old, but NOTHING like what has been happening for the past 4 month. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? My son acquired a problem with milk? He wasn't born with it, which never helped me in my search to finding the problem. Oh I'm such a GOON. Why didn't I try changing up what was going in before?

I'm pleased to be able to say he'll probably start putting on weight, and I imagine he feels better.

Now if I could just get him to sleep through the night. He's had me up 2 or 3 times a night for the past week.

Update to September 20th's entry

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

a cool giveaway

Hi everyone, I'm notifying all of this cool giveaway, to increase my chance of winning. Renee, over at her blog (my special ks) click here, is having a giveaway in celebration of her blogoversary. Go check it out!!

Wow, they like me, they really like me.

Kim, Mattie's mommy sent me this award. Thanks so much! How exciting!

According to the rules for the award, I have to pick 7 people to share this award with. Here are my seven people:

Dan Drinker
Shelley, over at household six
Meredith, at Cornish Adoption Journey
Kristen, at Faulkner Family
Dave, at Chewing the Fat (I adore you, Dave!)
Cory This woman, is an angel, I love her!
Shea

This is what you do to accept the award :-)
1. The winner can (and should, really) put the logo on his/her blog
2. The winner must link to the person from whom they received their award.
3. The winner must nominate at least 7 other blogs for an award.
4. The winner must place links to those blogs on their own blog.
5. The winner must leave a message on the blogs of the people they’ve nominated.

umm, errr, and ahh, hmmm

Hi! Just a few things of minor significance, or maybe no significance at all...

1. family portraits

Tomorrow we're going to have our FIRST EVER family portraits done at Olan Mills. Daniel and I have been married since March, 2001 and we have never had our pictures done. Rebecca hasn't had her's done since she was maybe 2. (School pics, yes) I did have PJ's done at about 5 or 6 months, (once) but they weren't the best. I won't likely have any to post for a few weeks, and that's if I get them on disc, which I guess depends on how much they want for that, because I don't have a scanner, so I don't even know if I'll be able to share them here. I hope they turn out well.

2. Poop and vomit

(LOL) Don't we all blog about poop at one time or another? PJ is on miralax once a day. But, since starting the prevacid, his poops got looser than normal and so I backed off. Well, he's gone 2 days without a poop, even though I gave him miralax both days, and I'm concerned he'll wait till we get to the photographer to have a blowout. If no poop before, I'll pick up suppositories while at Kmart tomorrow. He's still throwing up, too, and gaining weight very slowly now, because of the onset of vomiting, for about the last 2 months. The pediatrician doesn't seem to know quite what else to do, the upper GI results seemed pretty normal. I asked for a Pediatric Gastroenterologist referral, and was given an appointment for November 21. I don't know what else to ask for, so I guess I'll just wait it out... Any thoughts?

3. Jobs

Neither of us have one yet. Daniel DID get approved for unemployment, so we're making it (barely) and I'm looking now too. Gosh this economy sucks.

4. Church

Daniel and I have not ever belonged to a church. Today I went to a church who was having a fair for special needs children. This church has a nursery/sunday school program that they say is SN equipped. I'm thinking about checking it out. Certainly won't hurt PJ or me to have a little Jesus in our lives, and who knows, maybe Daniel will join in. Rebecca goes to church with my mom, and isn't interested in going with me to this other church, I guess she feels that her grandma's church is her church home, and I certainly don't want to mess that up, so won't make any demands that she switch. While at the fair, PJ got a little sunburn on his widdew nose, should make for a cute photo tomorrow. :o) Also, we met probably 5 or 6 local families with kids like PJ. That makes me happy.

I guess that's about it for now. Thanks for reading along.

One Year Check Up Stats

PJ had his check up today, and one of however many shots. We decided to break them up, he'll get one a month for the next few months. Today was Polio. Next month he'll get Hep C, and the flu shot. We're still waiting for word from medicaid about the rsv shot. He got it last year, but to be honest, he's been so healthy, I wouldn't be surprised if they denied it this time around. We'll see.

He's doing very well, still growing, although the weight gain has slowed significantly (this probably because of all the throwing up - which is still happening, even on both prevacid AND zantac.)

Today he weighed in at 20 lbs, 1 oz. On 6/28 he was 19 lbs.
He is now 27.25 inches, so in one year he's grown 10.25 inches. He's still a shorty, but his weight is height appropriate.

He is scheduled to see a Ped.GI, but not until November. His regular Ped is trying to get him an appt sooner, but only if there's a cancellation will we get one.

Tomorrow a new ENT office, and another hearing test, hopefully this guy can see into PJ's ears, because the last one could not.

PJ crawls all over the place, we'll be getting a gate for the kitchen, and have to close all the doors to keep him in view. He pulls to standing and does some side-stepping. He's starting to take an interest in TV (Noggin) to be exact, he loves "Jack's Big Music Show" That's when he gets his jumperoo time now, when we switch the tv on for him. He jumps to the music.

The Ped started making noises about weaning him off the bottle. I know he's not ready yet though, I'm not going to push that on him until he's a little more adept at managing the sippy cup or the straw cup. We practice with one or the other of them daily, but he needs too much help with them to toss the bottle, besides, bottle time is cuddle time and also it's how he goes to sleep. I promise, that when his top teeth start to make an appearance, I'll work on weaning him off the bottle.

Still unemployed, both of us.

I guess that's it from here for now, feel free to ask if I've left something off.

PJ's first birthday

In attendance were my 3 grands, Hailey, Azariah and CJ, My daughters Danyse and Rebecca, Calvin, his cousin Reggie, my mom, Daniel, myself, and of course, the wonderful, beautiful, spectacular cake eatin' PJ!!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Rebecca's gift to me

She wrote me a poem. Here it is, verbatim:

Happy Birthday!

I got thinking about what I was going to get you, and thought if I was going to get you anything that it should be touching.

Poem
When I'm blue
I come to you
You always know
just what to do
You're there when I'm sad
or even when I'm mad
and for that you make me glad
It's obviously true
that we're not the perfect two
and for that I love you
I thank you for what you give me
and today I thank you for your birth
because without you my life would be hurt

I LOVE YOU

From Becca
To Mommy

Isn't she just amazing? I love this kid!

Seven Days equals Three Years

The title? Oh, right. It means that we have 3 birthdays in our house in 1 weeks' time. Rebecca, the 5th, me, the 10th, and PJ the 12th. Crazy huh?


Yesterday was Rebecca's 12th birthday. She knew in advance that money is tight these days and her expectations weren't big. Grandma came over and we had cupcakes and ice cream. She got a few presents from Grandma, and then we gave her our gift. I started by telling her that I hoped she wasn't disappointed....


And of course she wasn't!



She had told me months ago that she wanted a DS from nintendo and recently I told her that she wouldn't be getting one, not because she doesn't deserve it, but because we couldn't afford it. She's so understanding, I don't think it was really bothering her that she wouldn't be getting one, but it was bothering me. She is such a huge help with PJ, and loving school and doing well. I wanted her to know my level of appreciation. And I know, monetary gifts and valuable items aren't necessarily the way to show appreciation, but hey, we both wanted to do this for her.

She's gone missing ever since. LOL. In her room playing, playing. But still happy to come out and help me when I ask her to. She's spending the night at Grandma's tonight, to go to Sunday school with her tomorrow.

This guy needs his first haircut!!




And will be getting one next week (probably before his first birthday, but just a few days) and I'll try to remember to get pictures, and I hope he does well. (too much to ask for a first haircut?)

I wouldn't' mind a haircut myself for my birthday, and maybe I'll actually get one. Not sure.

PJ got a new (to us) big boy car seat, and we set it up and drove with him in it today for the first time and he was SOOO happy. I forgot the camera, we were busy running errands, so I'll try to remember next time we go out - he loves his big boy car seat - facing front and looking around and eating his toes and clapping hands and feet. Happy happy happy.

So that, my friends, is why in my house one week equals 3 years.

Labor Day

Well, PJ seems to be feeling better. I don't know what the deal was with the temperature, but he didn't wake up with one this morning, and he had a really good day. He did get a little warm this afternoon, but just a little, and I gave him my new friend Motrin, and he was fantastic after that. It looks like the prevacid is really doing it's job, and then some - he had a bit of diarrhea today, so now I'm wondering if I should stop adding the miralax to his morning bottle to combat constipation... I might lay off the miralax tomorrow, and see if we get regularity anyway, not sure. The pediatrician called again today to check on him, and said she'd call again tomorrow, so I'll ask her what she thinks about the prevacid and the miralax. We had talked about blood tests, but she wanted to wait a few days to see if whatever was causing the fever would manifest in something else, since it was new and didn't want to have to draw blood more than once. Anyway, knowing our fear("our" being collective, as in all parents with kids who have DS) she was ready to order the CBC if I pushed it, but I didn't. I know better now, and I will if it comes back. He's supposed to have blood drawn 1st week of October, to check his thyroid, so I would like to be able to wait, for his sake.

Twice a year a local church holds a childrens consignment sale. I've registered as a seller and have a bunch of stuff to price before thursday, when I have to deliver and set up. PJ has a lot of stuff that doesn't fit him! Mom's coming over tomorrow to help me get thru it. Only the fall/winter stuff will go at this time. Hopefully we'll make a little to be able to get him a new car seat. He's really over the rear-facing-laying-down-can't-see-anything infant car seat.

Got rid of the gray today, in an attempt to look younger for interviewing. LOL. Went a shade lighter, and of course, my brunette Rebecca doesn't like it, I think she prefers me to have a darker brown hair so that we look like we're related. PJ has a different therapy tomorrow, wednesday and thursday this week, plus a check up at WIC on Wednesday, Friday is Becca's birthday (oh God, I'm so not ready) and then NEXT Friday is PJ'S birthday! (mine is Wednesday, in between the two kids) So, lots going on, but without an income, it's going to be hard to spoil my babies.
*sigh*

Oh, and one more thing (since I'm ranting and wining), what's up with NOBODY but my mom donating towards the buddy walk????!!! I emailed EVERYONE, plus posted a bulletin on myspace. Is it because it's not looking for a cure? Isn't it enough that the organization they donate to will make life a little better for our kids?

OK.
Peace out.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Hi all.

PJ slept thru the night, but woke up at 4am. He had a temp. of 101.6, high, but not as high as yesterday's spike of 102.6. So, I gave him some tylenol, his prevacid with a snack and let him play, which he did for a while. By 6 he was ready for a bottle and to go back to sleep. He woke at 8:30am, fever free. yay. He was good all day, happy, playing, and best of all, he did not throw up!! After yesterday's post, PJ's pediatrician called me to see how he was doing. I love how concerned she is, and on top of his case she's staying... It's not even her weekend to be on call.

She called again this morning, and again, a few minutes ago. Unfortunately, I had to report that although he went fever free all day, it returned this afternoon around 3pm. Went and bought motrin, and gave that to him before he fell asleep. (around 6:30)

I expect we'll be up really early again tomorrow. He still is not displaying any cold symptoms, which I relayed, so she says she'll order blood tests tomorrow if he's still feverish. What causes a fever to come and go? Is it normal? I don't know, that's why I'm asking YOU. lol.

Mom had us over for dinner, she got the urge to actually COOK. It was terrific! Pot roast, mashed potatoes and gravy (PJ loved that) fresh green beans cooked with ham bits for flavoring! YUM. I ate too much and got FULL, only to find out she had chocolate pie for dessert. ugh. I ate some of that too. haha. PJ loved it!! He did start throwing up again late in the day, but much smaller amounts, and after the fever came back. I'm scratching my head about him. Hoping it's nothing, but worried that it's something. Pray for him, will you?

I'll update again tomorrow sometime. Thanks for checking in!

My little dude is not feeling well :o(

Well, and other stuff.

I'm waiting for a call back from the nurses line. PJ actually went to the ped's office this am, he had run a low grade fever yesterday, managed by Tylenol. Was cranky, wouldn't nap, then decided that from about 10pm to 2am he was ready to play!! Wow. Anyway, he woke up feverish again this am, and so I called the Ped's and they had me bring him in. He was feeling good when we went in, so we talked about his vomiting, and that the zantac was not helping at all in that regard, that it's been over a month of it and now he's lost a total of 10 oz. Again, not a great big huge amount of weight, but still, he's going the wrong direction, and eventually, it's going to become a problem. She upgraded him to prevacid 1/2 tab once a day. I'll start him on the prevacid tomorrow. His ears look good, a little redness in his nasal cavities, so maybe he's getting a cold. OK, I'll buy that. So now, it's almost 4pm, he's starting to feel hot again, so I give him some Tylenol, then a few minutes later Daniel remarks how hot he feels. So, after trying the ear scan thermometer and getting something different 5 times, I pulled out the old fashioned thermometer lubed it up and took the rectal temp, 102.6. I called the nurses line.

OK, so, she just called me back, and spoke to the Dr. I'm to keep giving him tylenol, and fluids, and if the temp rises, a luke-warm bath. If none of that works, a trip to the ER will be in order. She thinks it's the onset of a cold.

He's pretty unhappy, but not pulling his ears, and really not snotty or cold symptoms, except for his spit up, it's gotten slimy. (sorry for that)

OK - the other stuff: Daniel is still looking for a job in a market that hasn't got any. I've decided to throw my hat in the ring. One of us has to work. I don't want it to be me, but looks like PJ might have a stay at home dad for a time. Basically it's down to whoever finds work first..

Becca's first week of middle school was good and she seems to like all of her classes. Her check up today revealed great hearing, 20-20 vision, a perfect spine, good weight, glucose and bp levels. Yay.

I think that about sums us up for now.

First Day of Middle School

She's growing up! My baby girl, about to be 12 years old, started 6th grade today. She's excited to start this new phase, summer was a bit of a bore for her, I'm sorry to say. PJ has loved having her home for the summer, and he's going to miss her. I'm going to miss her too! PJ is becoming more demanding of attention, playing by himself in the morning, happy, but wanting someone to play with more and more. She gives me breaks during the day, and we're really going to miss having big sissy around.

It'll be fun helping with homework again, she's taking Spanish, and that should be fun. I speak it fluently, but never taught her, so I can definitely help with that, although I'm probably going to be useless with algebra, maybe she can teach me!

Here she is, my big girl.





Rebecca, you look mad, let's try it again.






Ok, a little better, I guess it's hard getting up at 6 am for the first time in a few months.







THERE'S my class clown! I hope you have a good day, Becca, and make new friends this year, and study hard, and remember how proud I am of you.

Made a new friend today IRL

(In Real Life)

A sweet lady, Kristen, who I met on the internet before PJ was born, decided that almost one year was long enough to wait to meet up IRL. She made the two plus hour trip to Raleigh and we met at a park so the kids could have a bit of fun. Daniel and Becca came along, so we all got to meet Kristen and Ethan. He is so handsome! He loved the swing and the train ride, he'd laugh when his mom would tell me something about him, then we'd laugh, and he'd laugh some more. He gave high fives to Becca and Daniel. PJ was super tired, he missed his afternoon nap and decided to stay awake the whole time, so he wasn't as wonderfully happy as he can be, but he had a good time and wasn't one of "those" children, he was actually pretty good considering how tired he was.

One thing that was funny was there was a couple there, grandparents to 20 month old triplets, 2 boys and a girl... They were on their way out of the park, walking towards the parking lot, when one of the boys took a shine to Becca, he wrapped himself around her leg, put his hands up to her for her to pick him up, and almost cried when he had to leave her. It was really a freaky kind of experience. It was as if he knew her, which of course, he did not. I told Becca it was as if her knew her in a different life, and Kristen called her "The Baby Whisperer" It just confirmed to me that Rebecca's calling is to work with children in some capacity, and she's leaning toward therapist for special needs young'ns. She's terrific. We took a million photos, but our camera has such a slow shutter speed that only a few came out not blurry, so here's the best of them from our first K & E meet. I hope we get to do it again, soon.

Swallow study and upper G.I.

The instructions were to not give PJ anything for 3 hours prior to our 10 am appt. Since he generally wakes up between 5am and 6am and I generally give him his thyroid medicine along with a snack, and then breakfast around 8am. Well, today I gave him his breakfast at 6:45, so he'd be full as close to 7am as possible. We got to the hospital a few minutes before 10, but the registration desk told me I was to register him at the rehab desk. huh? OK, so we scoot over to the rehab dept, (I'm tired by this time because there's construction going on at the hospital, so we parked at the wrong end) and wait to register him. "They" whoever they are, forgot to tell rehab that we were to register him there, so there was the 20 minute phone call back and forth to registration before we actually got to register... uh. So, they took us over to radiology, where we waited, and waited, and waited until NEARLY NOON... and poor PJ was inconsolable by this time, so hungry, and mad because nobody was feeding him. Well, they put strawberry kwik in a bottle of barium, laid him on the xray table and he chugged away. The whole two tests took less than 20 minutes once we got started, and here's what they told me. That his aspiration is minimal and infrequent, no need to change anything about what he gets, except maybe to keep him on a slow flow nipple, and to have his head elevated. Yep. Do those already. They noted very little reflux, but of course, in 20 minutes they wouldn't see it with him. So, tomorrow I'm calling his pediatrician and asking for a Ped G.I. referral. (Thanks, kris10)I also am stopping the thyroid medicine (on the ok from the endocrinologist) for a week to see if that is in fact what is causing the vomiting. I also need to call the endo and let him know that I finally decided to quit the meds for a week to see if that will stop the vomiting. On an up note, I get to meet one of our kids tomorrow, and of course, his super cool mom who is driving an extra hour and a half just to meet us! Yay! I look forward to meeting Kristen and Ethan! Woooo hooooo.

I'm having A dinner party!

I've seen this on several of the blogs I try to be loyal to, and thought it was a great Idea.


Here are the rules courtesy of Barking Mad



You are going to have a dinner party! Oh yes you are. Well OK, not a REAL dinner party, but hey, if you're so inclined, more power to ya. Anyhow, you're having this swell dinner party and you are going to invite ten bloggers.


Create a post telling us who you are inviting and what about that person's writing makes you think they'd be an intriguing/funny/interesting person to share a meal with. What have you learned about these people through reading their blogs and what would you hope to learn about them through breaking bread with them?

Please Go to Barking Mad if you do this and sign the Mr. Linky saying you participated.

Here's my list of invitees:

Dan Drinker and his brother Will. Will is making a documentary of his brother Dan's life, and accomplishing so many things with this. He's spending a lot of time with his brother. He's teaching. He's advocating. He's honing his craft. He's creating memories. He's sharing and uplifting the spirits of new parents like me by showing me it's all gonna be fine. Dan's last name is Drinker. My son, also named Dan's (goes by PJ) last name is Barr. Just seems right that I share mine with his.


My online friend Renee at Life With My Special K's. This woman completely amazes me, 4 kids, medical issues at every turn, a husband overseas and she just really keeps it all together. I, being an uprooted California girl too, would really like to meet her IRL, maybe glean some of her "togetherness" from her. Also, knowing that PJ would be born with DS in advance, it was the first thing I looked for at his birth, and I remember thinking - "he looks so much like Kennedy". I should know them IRL, right?


Meredith, and her crew over at Cornish Adoption Journey. I learned of her adventures and become emotionally and spiritually invested in her oldest adopted daughter, Emma. I've read along since before the actual adoption, and cheered for the whole family, but actually PRAYED for Emma during a very difficult time of heart failure and open heart surgery that had a better chance of killing her than healing her. She's thriving today, and I thank God.


Melanie of Baeten Family. Her little man Logan is SOOO cute, and I think PJ looks a good deal like him. I love seeing updated blogs about his progress.


My friend E, or Eileen. This woman fell in love with PJ before he was even born! And she supported us and cheered for us and even sent gifts! (Thanks again, E, for the bouncy seat!) She's a great friend who I want to meet IRL, and hope to, one day.

Shelley over at Husehold 6.
She's inspirational. Another military wife, who is strong and kind and together. She and her husband went to the ends of the earth to collect her kids, and I admire them.


Kacey at Ella Grace with the pretty face. We have to meet. PJ and Ella Grace are gonna fall in love one day. My only issue is, who moves where? Them to NC? Or us to WA? LOL.


Leah, of The Garden of Eagan,. I am encouraged by Leah, who has a life, AND an 11 year old girl. I love that she's discovering her adventurous side, acting on it, and sharing her wonderful times with us.


Charissa, another mom who needed one more, special child, and went and found her. These mom's make my heart sing. So much faith.


Dave atChewing the Fat. I recently was pointed in the direction of his blog, and am, in fact, still catching up. I find him to be very well spoken, a great advocate, and very thought provoking.

There are many others that I would invite, if I were really having this party, and I could somehow get us all in the same location, All of the blogs I keep up with have really good people writing them. I appreciate all of you, thanks for being my teachers.

Preparing for Buddy Walk

The donate button is now on my blog.
It's also on my myspace
click here.
This will be our very first year participating in Buddy Walk, and we hope that everyone will help to make it successful.

The funds that we raise go to help our local area DS Association. Triangle Down Syndrome Network


Since this is our first time, I'm sure there's plenty of pointers from those more experienced. Please know that all advice is WELCOME HERE.

Happy 11 months, baby boy!

OK. Got some bath time photos, he's enjoying the big tub, and can splash all he wants without making too much of a mess. I bought one of those ring things with the suction cups, but it wont stick in either tub, I guess because the tub bottoms are dimpled?

I had the pediatric endo call in a generic rx for the thyroid meds and we started that today, hopefully will see a difference in throwing up (as in less in qty and frequency)

For those of you my friends who pray, please do, for my husband to find a job and fast. He was laid off today, the company is a small time financially inept and irresponsible one, and had to let go more than one today, and my DH was among them. I would appreciate prayers, positive energy, whatever ya got.

Here and there

So, I decided I'm going to try to update this blog on a more regular basis, because maybe mundane is not boring for some, and maybe you (the reader) take some pleasure in knowing what's going on in our life. And who am I to keep that from you?

Let's see... Today, Hailey and Azariah, my 2 granddaughters are spending the night.



I went and picked up pizzas for dinner (5.55 ea at dominos).

PJ is great, except he's still having days where the zantac doesn't seem to work (today being one of those days) He throws up. Last night he did the "suck on the bottle then arch the back and cry" thing. He has a swallow study and an upper GI later this month, so once that's done we'll know which way to go with treatment.

He still has only one tooth, is still crawling, sort of, on one knee and on one foot. Still very unsteady. Pulling to a stand like a champ. spitting rasberries, not so cute anymore. now, in addition to clapping, he puts his hands in the air waiting for someone to say "so big". It's really cute because his little arms are so short, they barely come to the top of his head. I'll try to get a picture of that. He's starting to sing a little bit, I've had to guess that's what it is, because it sounds like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. And every now and then he jumps up and down as if to dance. He understands container play, dumping, removing, and putting in. He can push the button on his exersaucer to get Elmo to sing to him (cause and effect) and he's getting a little freer with his laugh, which is really only a chuckle, but I'll take it.

Becca's getting ready for middle school, starts later this month. Daniel is still working, and I'm still at home. Mom comes a few times a week, and runs us to our dr appts and grocery trips. She's really great. (Thanks Mom!!)




So, that's it from here for now. We're happy, we have love, and good health.

hugs!

tid bits

Well, let's see. PJ's very first tooth finally made it's appearance a few days ago. He's 10 months old. A little late, but they say EVERYTHING on our babies has the opportunity to be delayed.

He's pulling up to stand, and scoot/crawling, or trying anyway. He started clapping his hands about two weeks ago.

The meds they started him on for his thyroid is making him sick to his stomach, and otherwise not feeling well. He gets to see the Dr. for that on Tuesday, so we'll see if any adjustments can be made. His regular pediatrician prescribed him zantac (liquid form) to help with the spitting up, it's been an ongoing problem, but has been exacerbated by this newest med. Poor baby. Anyway, I think that's about it for now. Thanks for checking in.

Hypothyroidism

Apparently it's quite common in individuals with Down syndrome. I'm just learning about it now, so any explanation you get here is is likely sketchy and vague.

Back in March, PJ's regular pediatrician ordered a blood draw to check his thyroid, as is the norm for our kids. They have to check every so often. At that time, his numbers were at the high end of "normal", just a "keep an eye on" thing.

Last week, PJ finally got to go to the DS clinic, at Duke Medical Center (one of NC's two Top 10 Hospitals in the country) where they took some more blood. Yesterday, I got an email advising me of an appointment with a Pediatric Endocrinologist for 7/29/08. So, I called to ask what it was for. I was told it was his thyroid, but the appointment secretary I spoke with didn't have any more info than that. Next I called the regular ped's to get his numbers from March. His TSH was 5.56, and his T4 was 1. Ok, I really don't still much understand what this means, but shortly after that, the Ped.Endo office called to tell me that PJ needs to be taking a daily medicine, starting immediately, so I went to pick up the RX from the local pharmacy today, and will start giving him his meds tomorrow (has to be on an empty stomach)The person who called to advise me of the need for meds told me that his TSD was now at 10.29, and T4 was at 1.15. I still don't know what this means, but I can see that something has gone way up. (way being a relative term, since I don't know if that's a large increase or not) This condition will be treated for life, but appears to be a simple fix. I'll know more after the 29th, and I hope that the only changes I see in him after being on the meds are positive, maybe growing a little? He's a real shorty. Maybe bowel regulating? Maybe sleeping better? IDK.

On other stuff about my boy, his PT is working with him on cruising the couch, and crawling. I "caught" him several times today attempting the "crawl" He's 10 months old tomorrow. He's eaten a few things with consistency, Gerber makes a snack called "puffs" about the size of a cheerio, made with real fruit, and it kind of breaks apart on first bite, hence the name "puffs" - he's hooked, and is even picking them up off his tray and getting them into his mouth (raking, not pinching - but still pretty cool) He had some lo mein the other day when mom took Becca, PJ and me to lunch at a chinese restaurant and totally dug that. Still no teeth, but I'm not worried, I've been told and have read that teeth are slow in coming very often in our babies. So, that's about it for now, just two more months till his first birthday, the time goes by SO SO SO fast. We went to the park last week, here he is, enjoying the swing.

Explosion of new abilities

Yesterday was PJ's 9 month check up. I got to go over all that he can do with his Dr. It seems that his gross motor has just exploded, every day something new just about. His speech (vocal sounds) is coming right along, too. I think soon it will be time to get him OT, maybe I need to talk to his services coordinator and see when we can do this.

Monday he started sitting up on his own, and now, Saturday, he's a pro at it. Yesterday he started getting up on hands and knees and rocking back and forth. He wants to crawl sooooo bad, but his coordination needs work. he ends up face planting during the first step of an attempted crawl. I'm glad he's a tough little dude. He also is trying to pull up to standing, as of yesterday; hence the blog title - Something just seems to have clicked for him.

His Dr. also found a little indentation on the front bottom gum, where she is sure a tooth is. It may still be awhile, but at least I know to look out for it.

His naps are finally falling into place, and he takes 2 a day, at least one hour each, sometimes longer. (yay!)

Stats from check up:

Weight - 19 pounds
Length - 25-1/2 inches
Head Circ. - 18-1/4 inches

9 - 1 - 4

9 months, 1 week, 4 days.

Approximately 2 months after he began sitting up when placed in that position, Little PJ is now getting himself to sitting. He was sitting up in his crib this morning when I went to get him from his first nap, and has done it several times since. I'm so happy for him, and he's pretty happy for himself. Grinning from ear to ear with all the applause and cheers directed at him today. My husband will lament that we don't own a video camera, as do I. If I had one, you'd all see it too! *sigh*

yay PJ, you absolutely rock my world.

My Little Man is 9 Months Old!

Well, he will be on Thursday (the 12th) It goes by so quickly.

Here's a list of things he does now

He pivots, mostly to the left. In fact, he'll turn a full circle most times to avoid going to the right, even when whatever he wants is closer to his right.

He rolls, front to back, back to front, all over the place.

He's starting to try out getting on his knees and elbows. Arms are still a bit week for knees and hands.

He's grabbing and mouthing EVERYTHING. He shakes rattles, tears up his playroom. Jumps up and down on laps, and in his jumperoo.

He gives big ol' wet kisses, when begged.

He eats breakfast, lunch and dinner. He's still taking a bottle, and has no interest in holding it himself, so we haven't even bothered with trying a straw cup yet.

He gives huge smiles, and every once in a while he chuckles, but I'm still waiting for the big belly shaking laughs. - Part of this laugh thing is that he seems to think that a big hardy laugh is crying, and so when we laugh, he gets confused, like he's made us cry. I know he'll get it eventually.

He says da da da, bla bla bla, dla dla dla, and every now and again - ma ma ma, but honestly, I'm pretty sure it's just practice noises at this point.

He blows raspberries, and he really enjoys them with a mouth full of baby food. Usually that's when I've decided he's had enough.

Naps are still hit and miss, mostly miss. Bed time is any where from 7pm to 8pm and he sleeps till 5:30 or 6am. Here's the latest pics of him..

8 months old already!!

I just can't even keep up with all he does and how fast it's all going!

Bath time

yes, he can

7 months

PJ is 7 months and 5 days old today. It's going by so quickly, my head is in a constant state of spin. As of 2 weeks ago, we're in his 3rd residence. We found a mobile home for rent about 3 miles from mom's house. It's only 2 years old, and so it's in excellent condition. Our landlords live right next door and they are good people. Country people. The back yard is HUGE, with a big ol' oak tree just before the woods line with a rope and plank swing, which Becca and the granddaughters have already decided is really fun. The landlords keep bird, squirrel and deer feeders going, and so wild life abounds! There's also resident wild turkey hens, which scared the dickens outta me first time I saw them. We're happy to be "home". The unpacking and picture hanging is almost complete. Life is good. We're content.

Updates on a few things

Sorry for the delay in between updates, there’s always something to update about, but hardly seems to be the time to sit and get it done.

Thyroid: PJ’s blood test was done last week, (which he did very well at, I should add) All within normal range. I don’t have the numbers, but the Ped’s office called and told me he’s ok. yay.

Rolling: Yes, he’s rolling over, he can roll from front to back, but prefers back to front, and always to his right. He’s been consistently rolling over now for about 2 weeks, and the other night, rolled in his sleep. It woke us up, because he sleeps in his pack-n-play right now, in our room and it was too difficult to roll back over, and his grunting woke us up.

Space: He’s sleeping in his pack-n-play because there’s not enough room in our room at my mom’s for his crib, which is in storage, along with most everything else we own, since we moved here end of October, 2007. We finally found a house to rent. PJ will have his own room, Becca, of course will have her own room. It’s only about 2 or 3 miles from my mom’s. It’s a very nice house. We lucked out. The landlords are a very nice couple, in their mid 60’s, who live right next door. They are really nice and seemed to like us, and we’re going over this evening to give them a deposit, and if all goes like it’s supposed to, we’ll be moving this weekend. The only downside is even though it’s close, it’s out of the elementary school’s zone that Rebecca goes to, so we’ll be delaying notifying the school of the move until end of school year. Sweet deal that it is in the correct zone for the correct Middle school, so all will be fine after May of this year. I’m going to continue being a stay at home mom for now, please keep Daniel in your thoughts, it’s very hard on him.

More to come, when there’s more to tell.
hugs to all!!

Story Time

6 months old

He doesn't always look so sleepy, it's the flash on the camera. He blinks! almost every time. It seems that this time in his life has him becoming more aware, more alert, and enjoying his jumperoo and his exersaucer. Finally. I've been putting him in them for the last 2 months or so, only to take him out right away because he doesn't want to be there. Over the past week or two, he's actually starting to like them, giving me a wonderful opportunity to put something ELSE in my arms. Like laundry, or vacuum, or nothing if I so choose. His floor time doesn't seem like such a waste anymore, either. He'll lift up really well when on his tummy, actually scooting around in a circle over time. (accidental, I think, but still...) And from his back, he turns to his side for a better view of what's around. Fine motor still a little sluggish.. even though he wants to put a toy in his mouth, he usually ends up dragging it across his face until he finds his mouth, only to discover it's his hand going in, not the toy. I know he'll get there, and he's teaching me to be a more patient person.

A trip to the ENT last week was totally fruitless. His little ears are soooo tiny, that they were unable to see in them, or get a hearing test done. I know he can hear, I don't fear hearing loss, but I guess it's something our babies have issues with, and the clinic wanted to know. We'll go back in 3 months to try again. Next week is his 6 months check up and blood draw for thyroid. He still has a clogged tear duct, not sure when we deal with that. It's not horrible, he's just always got one mildly goopy eye. That's it from here for now. More updates soon!!

echocardiogram

Well, PJ had his repeat echo today, out at the Children's Health Center at Duke Hospital. (It's where the DS clinic is) The Dr. was very nice. He didn't have the pictures from PJ's original echo that was done in Nashville, TN at the age of 2 weeks. In that first echo, we became aware of an ASD (atrial septal defect) measuring about 5mm in length. At that time, the Dr. was not too concerned, he wanted to repeat the echo after 3 months because he felt confident it would close up on it's own. Well, it's not gone completely, but it has closed up quite a bit, leaving only two small pin hole sized holes, which, the Dr. says, would be more trouble to close than to just leave alone, and that he doesn't need to see us again for 3 years. So, that's good. One concern he DID bring up is PJ's growth pattern. Apparently, on the DS growth chart, PJ places in slightly OVER the 50th percentile for weight, but UNDER the 5th percentile for length. He's a short, fat little boy. Well, if you've ever met his parents, you'd know why. But if that's not the reason why, then it could be his thyroid. We have his 6 month checkup scheduled for later this month, at which time they'll draw blood to test his thryroid functions. I'll let you know, when I know. 6 more days, and PJ will be 6 months old!

5 months old today

5 months old today
Current mood: adored

Hello everyone. I wanted to post a commemoration to PJ's 5 month birthday. He's doing very well. He smiles a lot, even has decided his grandma is worthy of smiles, which pleases her a great deal. He's eating cereal and baby food now, the only thing he really doesn't like is peas, but if you mix in apple sauce, he'll even eat that! He has turned over a couple of times, probably by accident, since he wont do it repetitively. He loves chewing on his hands, or my hands, or his grandma's chin, and has a VERY strong bite! Thankfully, no teeth popping thru yet. He's even made himself cry by biting down on his own fingers so hard. Strong jaws! He ooohs and aaahs, and if he's mad, he grunts and sounds petulant and demanding. He barely naps, but sleeps all night, from about 8pm to about 6 am. His developmental therapy has been increased from once a month to weekly starting this week, so we'll see how well he tolerates all the additional floor time. He is scheduled for an evaluation later this month, so that a few specialists can see him and recommend what other therapies he might need, ie speech, physical, occupational.

He's grown soo much. When first born, all of his newborn clothes were too big. If it wasn't preemie, it was huge. He's gone from those, to newborn, to 0-3 months and now fits nicely in most 3 months, or 3-6 months. He's made it up to a size 2 diaper. His hair is returning, and I just love him to pieces! So, that's it from the home front. I hope you all have a nice Valentine's Day!!
Hugs,
Kathy

could it be? another blog about my marvelous son?

could it be? another blog about my marvelous son?
Category: Life

Hi all. Today PJ had his 4 month check up and shots, and even though he's 4 months and 10 days, I figured I'd give you his stats...

He now weighs 13 pounds, 5 ounces. (12th percentile)
He is 22-1/2 inches in length, (5th percentile) the little shorty (although to be fair, he was only 17 inches at birth, so he's grown 5-1/2 inches)
His head is 16-3/4 inches circumference, (50th percentile) yay! his brains are getting bigger!!

Dr. is very pleased with his overall growth and health. he got 4 shots in his widdu wegs today, needless to say, he's doing a lot of whining intermingled with a lot of napping. One of the shots was the synergis shot, which he'll get monthly from now until March, I think - that's the one that protects against RSV. Yay!! With so many other things to worry about, it's nice not to have to worry about that!

A couple of weeks ago, I started him on some vitamins, made specifically for people with DS, because the extra chromosome somehow makes proper absorption of certain vitamins very difficult. The effects of these supplements are to help strengthen immune system, and battle against Alzheimer's. Did you know that over 50% of young adults with Down syndrome get Alzheimer's? One of the added benefits of this supplement is that it supposedly helps learning and memory function. I honestly don't know if it's true, and my giving him the vitamins aren't dependent upon his mental function. It's about keeping him healthy for as long as possible. But, if it does work for that too, then what a bonus, huh? For him to be capable and independant in the future would be simply golden.

Love to all,
Kathy


p.s.
Without intending to, I've become a sort of an advocate for TNI (targeted nutritional intervention) There are 2 companies that make the vitamins, and both will send you a free sample.

http://www.nutrivene.com/

http://www.nutrichem.com/

One is a USA company, and one is Canadian. The Canadian company adds flavor to their compound so that it's more pleasant mixed in with formula or baby food. But the USA one seems to only provide the vitamins that are needed, and nothing that's not. If you have the time, check out the yahoo group, " DSTNI " Dr. Lawrence Leichtman frequents there and he's someone all parents of children with DS should know of.

Four months old

Four months ago today, my little miracle came into the world. He is so sweet and yes, a little spoiled. If I decided today to stop spoiling him and be "tough" with him, he'd still get spoiled by Grandma, Sissy, and Daddy, so what the heck, right? Anyway, I just needed to commemorate this day, and a blog seemed appropriate.

As far as milestones, the one I'd hoped he'd reach by now and hasn't done yet is turning over. So far he just doesn't seem interested.

He grabs for toys that are within reach, including his sisters hair.
He recognizes my voice and my face, and graces me with a big smile. He does this for his daddy, and his big sissy, too. Grandma he's still a little not too sure of, and so far, he's withholding smiles from her.
He kicks and stands supported.
He talks to his sissy (oooooooo) and today he sang with her (again, oooooo)
I started spoon feeding him a week ago, oatmeal. He likes it, and there's enough fiber in it to help keep the constipation away. (yay)

That's it for this update, take care all.
hugs,
kathy

Reflections and forward thoughts

For the new year of 2008
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

Wow. I've noticed since becoming a new-old mommy the number of blogs I post has decreased. Today Becca and Daddy are helping me with PJ, so I can take a little more time for myself. One reason I wanted to blog was to wish everybody a happy and safe celebration of "out with the old and in with the new."

My life encountered a whole bunch of changes in 2007.
I found out I was to have a baby. - shocker of the century
I found out my baby was to have down syndrome.
I lost my job.
My husband lost his job.
PJ was born.
We ended up moving away from our home of 4 years.
We moved into my mom's now very crowded house to begin again.

There are at least a dozen more, but you get the drift. I guess the beginning of a new calendar year, for me, doesn't necessarily signify a new beginning. I've had a lot of new beginnings, and not one that I can think of correspond with 01/01 of any given year.

Daniel is working, full-time (almost) since Thanksgiving, so that's good. We're hoping he can find a better paying job, so that I can continue to stay home with PJ. I just don't know what I'll do if my only option is to leave him. It was very hard with Rebecca when she was 7 weeks old, but I'm sure I'll really have a breakdown if I have to do it with PJ - my eyes tear up when I even think about it.

So, I'm still struggling with county, state and federal agencies on PJ's behalf, I've learned a good deal about "the system" but am still a novice, I'm sure. I have a new family, too. They are the parent's and siblings and individuals themselves with down syndrome. It's different than a club, because you voluntarily join a club. It's a family because very few of us asked to be in it. I don't want to make it sound like I'm unhappy in this new family, because I'm not, at all. My new family is huge, and loving, and supportive, and experienced, and educated, and they happily share any and all relevant knowledge. They are always ready with a tissue, a shoulder, or kudos and praise, whichever happens to be appropriate.

So, in closing, I want you all to know that I wish you a wonderful 2008, but that it already started, days ago. I wish for you a flu-free winter, an unexpected visit that brings laughter and rest for your worries; time enough with family, and all the love your hearts can handle, with some spilling over.

Christmas Update

Yesterday was PJ's follow up at the pediatrician's office. I really like those people. Anyway, after all is said and done, his lungs sounded perfectly clear. No need to re-do the x-rays, because he's feeling so good. No fever, great appetite, great color, energetic and happy. He is 14 wks old yesterday, or 3 months and one week. 11 pounds, 8 oz. His appetite is second only to his daddy's. lol.

Rebecca is adjusting to life in North Carolina well, although she misses her friends, and hasn't found a "best friend" like she had in Tennessee. She's doing great in school, and is finally (fingers crossed) outgrowing her tomboy stage, even asked me for some "girly" clothes for Christmas.

Daniel is working full-time. He seems happier here in NC, too. We've only gotten to go visit his family once since being back, but that's because PJ was sick for 3 weeks. I think we'll be going to see them the weekend after Christmas.

My mom has adjusted pretty well to our being here, taking over her house. We try to respect her boundaries, and she has friends that she goes out with, social activities to get her mind off of us, and she loves hanging out with Rebecca. They go places together, to the movies, shopping, etc. Becca loves her grandma, too.

With all the stress of my topsy-turvy life, my skin has decided that it's all-out war, and I cannot get it back to decent looking. It's red, red, red! And SOOOOO dry. Doesn't matter what cleanser I use, or what moisturizer, it's irritated beyond belief. I remember it being this way last time we lived in NC. I need to see a dermatologist, I guess. Maybe now that PJ is better it will calm down some. I'm not sure how I feel about anything, not having the time to look inward. I guess I'm glad we're here, but I really miss Spring Hill, TN, and the friends we made, and were making, the life we had. It sucks having to start over, with medical bills galore, no money, not even for a place of our own. Sorry, I'm whining. Enough of that crap. I am thankful for family. For my beautiful children. For my husband who has been supportive and understanding of my inability to leave PJ in someone else's care and go find a job to help bail us out. I just can't do it. Not yet. He's starting to give us those smiles, you know the ones, the ones that say - "Hey - I know you, and I think you are the best!" Better late than never, right?

Merry Christmas to all, and Happy New Year, too.

Much love from me to you.

Kathy

pneumonia

I thought it was just a cold. I took him to the Dr. last week Thursday and she said it was bronchiolitis, so we started treating him for that (nebulizer). He wasn't any better today, so back we went. She sent us over to the hospital for a chest xray. By day's end she was calling, telling us there was a small amount of pneumonia present, and to go get the new prescription. He's on amoxicillan and prednazone. Daniel is a mess, he doesn't worry about things, he's a "I don't give a f_ _ _" kind of person, normally. I'm just waiting to see how much gray hair he has tomorrow morning. LOL.

I feel certain PJ will be fine, and won't need to be hospitalized, but if you pray, please include him.

Thanks and love to all,
Kathy

my first collage attempt

PJ has been sick for a week. I took him Thursday to the Dr. he has bronchiolitis, an upper respiratory infection. So, he gets a breathing treatment with a nebulizer every 4 hours. And lots of saline drops in his nose, and the bulb syringe (snot sucker). I think he started to feel better about an hour ago. It's been a stressful weekend, with me on the verge of running him to the ER every hour or so.
Phew!

PJ's first 2 months

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

10 weeks old, today

LIttle PJ got his first set of shots today.

He was weighed and measured. He's 10 pounds, 4 ounces, and 20-1/2 inches long. This is a gain of 2 lbs, 4 oz, and an increase in length of 1 inch in a period of 4 weeks! He's so chubby now!

These pics were taken within the last day or so. (He's not feeling so hot right now).

update on us

So far, Daniel hasn't been able to land a job, but is at an interview as I write this, and so I hope to be able to update with good news, soon! I've attached some pictures to this just so you can see my beautiful son! We went to Daniel's side of the state this holiday weekend, and introduced little PJ with his Nana, his Poppy, his aunts, uncles, cousins and his Grampa! Naturally, they all think he's beautiful!

6 weeks old, where does it go?

Hello Everyone. Yesterday PJ was 6 weeks old. Today, I took him to his pediatrician, because his sinuses have been plugging up since the beginning, just about, and it's gotten to the point where it's disrupting his sleep, and interfering with his feeding. (poor baby ) Also, his eyes are junky, have been since the beginning, too.

The Dr. ran a thin little tube up each nostril to make sure there were no blockages, and thankfully, there weren't, then with the same teeny tube tried to suction out any mucous that is bothering him, and there really wasnt any. He's just got teeny tiny sinuses, I guess. He screamed throughout this fun time. (Can you say, STRESS?) Any way, unfortunately there's nothing to give him at this young age to relieve his pluggy sinuses. We have noticed, however that it's worse at night, or at naptime, so the Dr. recommended we elevate his head a bit for sleeping, and I put him on my bed, on a pillow, and he's been asleep now for 4 hours and not making that awful snorkeling sound, and not waking with every little sound, as he has been doing, I think for not sleeping well. Of course, I've not figured out how to do this same set up in his bassinette, but I'm working on it.

His tear ducts are clogged. His eyes get goopy. Dr says he'll need to see an eye Dr. but not yet. Probably around 6 months. I just wonder if they'll get better on their own, or if he'll have to have surgery. Same with his sinuses, will they open up? Or will he have to have surgery to fix them?

He's now 19-1/2 inches long, and 8 pounds, exactly! Just like a newborn baby, only he's 6 weeks old. So, in 6 weeks, his total weight gain is 2 pounds, 10 ounces, and in length he's gained 2 and a half inches. Not too shabby, huh?

his eyes

Oh! What they do to me. They see into the very core of me. He understands the profound depth of my love for him. Those little almond shaped eyes, the window not only to his soul, but to my own. He is my heart, outside my body. God how I love this little man.

Down Syndrome Clinic at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital

Down Syndrome Clinic at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital
Today was lil' PJ's appointment at the Down Syndrome Clinic, which is held every Thursday. I was so impressed with the level of care that our babies get here in Nashville. We were seen by a Speech Therapist, a Dietician, a Social Worker, a Physical Therapist, a Cardiologist, a Pediatrician and a Psychologist peeked in to say hello also.

PJ had an echocardiogram done (an ultrasound of the heart) and they did find a little bitty leak, which they call an Atrial Septal Defect. The Doctor assured us that his heart is strong, and he is a very healthy boy, and that many babies, of all developments have these, many are never dectected, but because they look so carefully at a down syndrome child's heart because of the high occurance of heart defects, they are often found in our babies. It's only 5mm in measurement, and it can't even be heard as a murmur, and he reassured me that 98 - 99% of cases resolve themselves within a short period of time. He says we'll re-do the echo in 3 months, and it will very likely be gone. If it doesn't go away on it's own, the dr. says that a surgery MAY be performed at around age 2, depending on PJ's overall health, but he really made it sound like that would not be the case.

PJ's weight is up to 6 pounds 10 ounces, so that's a total gain of 1 lb, 3.4 ounces since birth, in 3 weeks and 1 day. His color is good and nobody had any concerns with him overall. The time flew by, it wasnt boring or frustrating and there was no wait.

It was very educational. Oh. We even saw Sheila, the Director of the Down Syndrome Assoc. of Middle TN, who we met at the picnic early in the summer, so she got to see PJ for the first time.

I wonder how other cities compare in caring for our babies?

Hugs and love to all,
Kathy

Bath number 3

Ok, so we had to make sure bath number one and two we weren't going to drown the little wiggle worm, but by bath number three we felt confident enough to get a couple of pictures. He really is squirmy, but seems to like getting his bath.



Thanks!

Welcome to your life, little PJ

Hi everyone. I'm home. I got home Saturday, and my world is upside down. I came home with a lot more stuff than I left with, and even though I am a Virgo, I am very unorganized, so there is stuff everywhere. Mom came 2 days ago, from NC, and will stay for 2 weeks - thank God. Daniel was off work all week last week, except for Monday, same as me, and wont return to work until Wednesday. This is a very good thing, because if I can get him motivated, HE is very organized. Mom is a big help, cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, etc, just like a housewife. lol. I'm really glad she's here.

So here's what happened... Little PJ was stressed, and had a few days (not consecutive) of listlessness, lethargy, just overall inactivity. Me, being a worry wart, kept 2nd guessing myself as to whether or not I was overreacting and held off going to the hospital. I finally went Wednesday morning, thinking they'd tell me how silly I was, to go home and come back if there were a "real emergency". Well, shame on me - I should've trusted my instincts on being worried days before, because he was having a hard time. Every time I had a contraction, (I was not in labor, just having the occasional contraction) his heart rate would slow down. And he wasn't having any of the normal heart rate spikes of a happy baby, just a slow, steady heart rate. So the doctor decided at 36 weeks, 5 days of gestation that the baby would do much better out rather than in, and that labor was not going to be good for him, and they prepped me for a c-section. Daniel was great, held my hand and talked to me, never peeked around the curtain at the gore on the other side. We heard little PJ's cry together, and shared an eye-locking moment of awe and pure joy. We welcomed him, 3 weeks early, at 17 inches long, 5 pounds, 6.6 ounces. He has a good amount of light brown hair, and eyes are still to be determined. I can say that we all think he looks a lot like his daddy.

I looked, upon first view, for the "downs" in him. Saw it right away, in his eyes. I can say now, 5 days later, I don't see it anymore. I know it's there, and that's fine. I just don't see it. I see the most beautiful baby boy that I have ever seen. I see perfection. I see an angel. I see more love than I have ever been faced with, even having had 2 daughters, whom I dearly love.

I'm bruised and very sore, but starting to feel better. Rebecca cried when she first saw him, saying "oh! He's so beautiful!" She's going to be a great big sister! She's helping out already.

Being early, he's had a few complications with jaundice and body temperature control, but we have an appointment today, Monday, with the pediatrician, and I expect to get a clean bill of health for him. He's feeding wonderfully! He sleeps a lot, which I plan to enjoy while it lasts. And that, my dear friends, is how it happened. I'm going back to bed now. Talk to you soon!

Wow, listen to THIS! (or, read it, rather)

So, my slow butt didn't get to the ringing phone on time, but the caller left a voice mail. It was my ob/gyn, whom I haven't seen in weeks, because I'm "making the rounds", seeing different doctors each visit, which is fine, they're all wonderful.

She says, in her message, that she's reviewing my chart, the ultrasound from Friday, and all the other doctors' notes, and gave me kudos for doing so well. She also said that she's going to be out of town for the next week and a half, and just has a feeling that things will progress while she's gone. Just a feeling, nothing to place bets on, not part of a professional opinion, just a feeling.

It's hard not to mentally engrave THAT in stone, but I am excited, and certainly HOPE her feeling is, in fact, fact!

Keeping my fingers crossed,
Kathy

almost 36 weeks done, only 4 to go.

Hi folks, it's been a little while since you've heard from me on my favorite subject, (lol) my baby!! So here goes.

Today was my weekly non-stress test (this is where they put 2 belts around my belly, each with a monitor, one of them monitors the baby's heart beat, and the other monitors uterine activity {contractions} ) Every time I've had one of these tests, the Dr, whoever she might be that week, tells me I have a very happy, healthy, beautiful baby! Makes me feel good. Today was also my first internal check - (this is where the dr puts as much of her hand up in you as is painfully possible, and feels for the thinning and opening of the cervix, and the lowering of the baby.)

Believe me men - it's NOT sexy!

Anyway, none of that has happened for me yet, so although I've thought all along throughout this pregnancy that little PJ would be coming early, I'm starting to have my doubts. I might just have a lazy, hard-headed little man in my life! - hmmm... Wonder who on earth he gets that from? heeheehee.

Anyway, I get to see him every friday, and he does everything he's supposed to. practice breathes, swallows, moves a lot, so everybody at the dr's office is happy with him.

33 weeks down, 7 to go.

HI folks. I got to see my baby again, I have a few pics, but have to connect the scanner. They've estimated his weight at 4 pounds, 11 ounces. He's still active and doing everything right. The amount of amniotic fluid is now at about the 66th percentile, and the baby is right at about the 50th percentile. extremely average - which for any pregnancy is about as good as you could ask. An extraordinarily large or small baby, or not enough fluid, or too much, would just be cause for additional concern.

The Dr. was very happy with my blood sugar for the week, and is allowing me to fax in my sugars weekly, and have both my weekly visits at my ob/gyn office, which will still consist of the non-stress test early in the week, and an ultrasound later in the week. But it's closer to home, and more convenient, and hopefully not as time consuming. (My appt today was at 8:30, and because of issues - theirs not mine - I didnt get out of there till 11:00)

So, that's where things stand with THAT subject. (I know, it's really all I write about lately)

I'm quite happy it's Friday. I'm of the understanding the one of my employers has purchased the high chair from my registry, and the other one picked up all the snoopy bedding stuff, so things are looking really good for baby supplies.

That's about it from here for now. Have a great weekend!

32 weeks down, 8 to go, if I don't pop sooner

Wow.


Can I just say wow? I am floored by what being in the year 2007 can do.

I REALLY got to see my little man today. The 4d ultrasound was AWESOME! I had tears in my eyes the whole time. He's so beautiful! Wait till you see him!

The Doctor's were all gone, and the technician took her time, looking at him. We talked to him, watched him root for his thumb, saw him stick his tongue out, open his mouth. It was just ... WOW.

I can't update you on amniotic fluid, or anything else health wise, but I can tell you my baby looks great!!
Have a look see!











Wow.

30 weeks pregnant, read all about it. :o)

30 weeks pregnant, read all about it. :o)
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Life

Hi everyone. Had THREE appointments this week, so here's the run down.
Monday, I had a regular ob/gyn appt, where they weigh you, listen to the baby heartbeat, answer any questions. It was a different doctor, I meet a new one of 4 or 5 each time I go back, so they'll all be familiar with me when it comes time to bring little PJ into the world. The nice thing about this practice is, all the doctors are women.

I've lost almost 4 lbs since the gestational diabetes discovery, and on Thursday, when I went to see the specialist who is monitoring my sugar, I asked him which is worse, stay on the "diet", not get enough calories, (I just can't get down 2100 calories a day of all really really healthy stuff), and continue to lose weight, OR, carbo load once a day, keep my weight steady, and risk having my sugar spike? ( I kind of figured those were my only options), Well, he clearly doesn't want me losing any more weight, but didn't seem to think carbo loading was ok either. Basically, I'm to return to as normal as possible, and watch my sugars, if they spike, figure out what it was that did it, and try to eliminate/substitute that. - uhhh, ok. sure, Doc, I'll get right on that.

Today was a growth tracking ultrasound we got to watch little PJ grab his foot, do some practice breathing, and NEVER NEVER NEVER stop moving, not even for a second! Oh dear God. The ultrasound technician told me his estimated weight is 3 lbs 4 ounces, which I believe is slightly above the norm, but am not certain. And if so, is it due to the diabetes, or genetics?

Next week starts my twice a week monitoring, non stress test at the ob/gyn early in the week, then ultrasound late in the week at the specialist, to monitor growth, practice breathing, movement, etc. - Kind of makes me wish I was salaried and not hourly, you know?

Anyway, here's a pic of him today, I'm thinking it's daniel's nose, which is fine. We'll see.

A mother's view of a word that wounds

I am not the original author, and don't usually blog someone else's writings, but this, I felt, was a great explanation of why the word "Retard" is just as hurtful and mean as a curse word.


A mother's view of a word that wounds: 'Retard'
By Theresa Howard

You are such a retard.

You've heard the expression. Sometimes it's preceded by an expletive, as in "you're such a f—-ing retard." Either way, with or without the curse word, it's a harsh statement. But one, it seems, that's become increasingly acceptable. So much so that in one recent week I kept track of how many times I heard it and who said it. I heard it daily — whether it was a colleague, a neighbor talking to his dog, an actor from a hit TV show during an interview with me, a top level advertising executive, young men playfully swapping insults or Tony Soprano to his son after a botched suicide attempt.

Last year, the r-word was in the title of a Two and a Half Men episode It's a word that, unlike "pimp" or the n-word, is always derogatory. For reasons that I can't understand, pimp has become synonymous with style. The n-word, for a handful of African-Americans, is a term of endearment — until someone outside the circle uses it. Then it becomes derogatory.

But no matter how or by whom the r-word is used, it's always in a negative context. You don't hear, "What a great idea, that's so retarded." You don't hear, "Awesome catch — what a retard move."

While some are advocating that the n-word be banished from America's lexicon, who is the voice for the 7.5 million Americans with intellectual disabilities who truly are mentally retarded? Who is defending their dignity while everyday folks — educated adults at that — take a term that clinically applies to the disabled and use it as an insult?

What's my fascination with the r-word? I take it very personally. And I'm not a person who is easily offended. I am, however, the mother of a 6-month-old daughter who was born with Down syndrome. Lydia Catherine is sweet. She's got a warm smile and very knowing blue eyes. She's got a subtle little dimple and a tiny tuft of strawberry blonde hair that swirls into one single swoop into the air.

When she looks at me, I feel like she can see all the fears, concerns, doubts and questions that swim around in my heart and my mind every day. Will she be smart enough to know when she hears people say the word "retard" that they are talking about her?

This is not new territory for me. I grew up the sibling of a Down syndrome sister. Catherine Anne was 41 when she passed away four years ago. She was born at a time when "mongolian idiot" was the operative term, and doctors suggested to my parents to leave her behind and she'd be taken care of. It really meant she would have been institutionalized. They didn't listen. Catherine lived with my parents until the day she died.

For as long as I can remember, I corrected people when they said the r-word. I flashed dirty looks to people who stared. I told parents to tell their child that it's not polite. Ever gregarious, Catherine would smile at strangers, many of whom would be so uncomfortable that they didn't know what to do. Even after Catherine passed away, I continued to correct people for a few years. Then I got tired. I no longer felt it was my battle.

Until Dec. 10, when Lydia was born. My journey has begun all over again, this time with me as the mother and my older daughter, Sofia, as the sibling. If I was protective of my sister, I am almost scared of how protective I will be for Lydia and her own sister. But as she grows up in a time when "retard" is a socially acceptable slur, professional organizations are trying to change the clinical term. Last November, the American Association on Mental Retardation changed its name to the American Association on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities. The Special Olympics is advocating that "retarded" be dropped from the vernacular.

Fixing the terminology is only a start. The bigger issue is acceptance of people with disabilities.

Do your part. Don't stare. Say hello. Be inclusive. And when you want to insult someone's intelligence, remember to use a different word.

Theresa Howard is an advertising reporter for USA TODAY. She lives in Hoboken, N.J., with her husband, Peter Baracskai, and their two girls

Gestational Diabetes

Sorry for being unclear. I was told yesterday that I have gestational diabetes, and the reason for my visit today, was because the specialist's office will be the one monitoring my blood sugar...

Ok, so on to the rest...

For this first week, I've been given a "diet" to follow, and the testing equipment, and must check my blood sugar upon waking, then 2 hours after breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The diet consists of 2100 calories a day, so I for sure will not be hungry, It's just all stuff that's good for me, so I'll still be missing cake, pie, twinkies, stuff like that.

Hopefully, my blood sugar can be controlled by diet alone. If not, they'll start me on pills, and worst case scenario, insulin injections. So.

I can say this... today, after having a very light lunch, of chicken, green beans and yellow squash, I did not get sleepy. There've been days at work where I've had to just put my head down on my desk and power nap for 5-10 minutes because the sleepies had me BAAAAD. I was attributing it to pregnancy. Maybe I was wrong?

SWEET! (not)

Hello friends and family, we'll call this a mini-blog. My ob/gyn office called me to tell me that the 3 hour fasting glucose tolerance test I took last week? I failed. So, I have another appointment, tomorrow morning at the specialist's office, and then ANOTHER appt at the hospital near them for a nutrition class. Apparently the only thing my ob/gyn office does is deliver babies. Every time something "risk" related comes up, they shuffle me off to the specialist's office... which is fine, but I can't figure out why they wouldn't just want me to switch practices. Oh well, I'll ask again tomorrow, and try to get you a real detailed blog, tomorrow evening.

Love you!

gimme sum sugar!

I got a call from the ob/gyn's office today and guess what? My glucose is elevated.
So, now I get to do the fasting 3hour blood sugar test at my local hospital. This will be done on Thursday morning. I don't remember from 11 years ago if I get the results right away, or get to wait for another call, so sometime AFTER Thursday am, I'll blog you the results. I don't usually eat breakfast until I get to work, so THAT shouldn't be too hard. I do usually have a cup of coffee (with sugar free creamer) in the morning, and I'll have to skip that on Thursday. RATS. I hope it was a fluke, an after lunch abberration. I really dont want to have diabetes. (who does, right?)

Anyway, I hope you all have a marvelous week!
hugs to all,
Kathy

pregnancy update, 25 weeks tomorrow

Original post - June 21, 2007 - Thursday


pregnancy update, 25 weeks tomorrow
Current mood: good
Category: Life

Hello all, I'll be brief. I had a ob/gyn appt today, all is well, the size of my cervix, hence the baby, is growing, the heart rate was at around 140 bpm, he was doing calesthenics at the moment. I get a 4 week reprieve before I go back, but then it looks like I'll be getting checked weekly, for baby comfort, growth, etc. I had to drink that nasty sweet stuff, and have my blood drawn, but lab was closed, so I'll know in the next few days whether or not I have gestational diabetes. I had it with Rebecca, so I won't be surprised to discover I have it again. I'll let you know. Other than that, aside from the normal pregnancy symptoms, ie, swollen feet and hands, heartburn, constipation, super sleepy, but unable to sleep well, every thing is GOOD.

Love to all,
Kathy

Some Really Shitty News

Original post - June 18, 2007 - Monday

Some Really Shitty News
Current mood: worried
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Hi friends and family, I'll start this blog by announcing that this one really doesn't have anything to do with the baby, so relax. He seems fine.

My husband started a new job about 3 weeks ago. He left a perfectly good job, because he got the offer of a little more money, and with the baby on the way, felt it would be the smart thing to do. Shortly after starting his new job, (within the first week) he twisted his knee. The project manager was there, saw it happen, and Daniel said he thought he'd be ok, and kept working. The following week, (last week) His knee was swelling and painful (especially on the ladder - which he'd been doing a lot of) So on Thursday, he asked the boss man if he could take the day off, icing and heating his knee, and allowing it a chance to rest. The boss man relented, but made sure that Daniel knew that he (the boss man) was gonna be a dick about workers comp. He told my husband that it was too late to file a workers comp claim, to which Daniel responded, he wasnt looking for a workers comp claim, he wanted to work, and to keep his job, he just was needing to rest the knee (he doesn't have health insurance, cost has always had him taking care of his, me taking care of Becca and I). So, anyway, this morning he goes in and is told he no longer is doing what he was hired to do, but he's now a commercial plumber, and to go to another job site. He called me and I KNEW it had something to do with that knee. Anyway, he went back to the shop after being run up and down a ladder several times, and asked for medical care, at which point he was fired. Although he told the other plumbers he was going back to the shop, the bossman told him that he was fired because he left the job without telling anyone. They told him he hurt himself at home, not at work, and they no longer needed his services. Talk about DIRTY.

So, we're (his attorney) going to the Tennessee Dept of Labor, to attempt to get a workers comp claim opened, and him some medical treatment. The problem is he can't go get a new job, until we have at least a partial resolution with the dirty employer company, I don't know how long this will take. Really bad timing. Although there's probably not ever a GOOD time to be injured. It's gonna be really hard to prepare for a non-paid maternity leave, on one income. I'm not panicking yet, but I'm really really really blue. It's not Daniel's fault, and I'm not mad with him. I'm just worried. you know.

Fetal Echocardiogram

Original post June 14, 2007 - Thursday


Fetal Echocardiogram
Current mood: relieved

Ok, so, today was the day. The Dr. was very nice, a fetal heart specialist, and after reviewing the ultrasound and actually being in control of the wand himself for a time, told us that he was unable to find any heart defects. Needless to say, we're very very very pleased.That's a big weight off our shoulders. The baby measures perfectly for his gestation, no change in due date, it continues to be 10/5. He weighs 1 lb, 5 oz.

At this time, knowing what we know, we don't have to make any special delivery plans (meaning c-section), but can assume that as long as things stay good, I'll get to feel pain and push, then be up and around the next day! Not thrilled about the pain, because I'm a big whiney baby,(just ask people who know me) but I've actually done both ways, and believe me, the recovery after a vaginal birth is SOOOO much easier than recovering from a c-section.

I got a few pics, but my scanner wont scan because it wants new printer cartridges - grrr. I'll try to get that done this weekend.

I also asked about moving the remainder of my pregnancy to their office, based on experience, and he said no, really not necessary, would have said yes, had there been concerns about the heart, but no. So all is very rosey right this minute.

Have a very very good night, and upcoming weekend!

pregnancy update

Original post June 11, 2007 - Monday


pregnancy update
Current mood: calm
Category: Life

It's been over a week, right? And I've had a few requests, so, I'll give you what I've got, which ain't much.

I've been hit with the horrible pregnancy ailment known as ... constipation. I feel like there's a brick sitting inside my pelvic bone. Almost like labor. Hard to be active with a brick in your butt! Catch 22, right? more action less uh, crowding.. Ok, enough of that. You all get the idea, and know what I'm talking about.

Little PJ has been very active. (I THINK - it's only been almost 11 years since I was pregnant) He moves and kicks and Becca felt him a few days ago, and Daniel felt him last night! So I'm getting kidney punched and rib kicked several times every day, and if I wasnt SO excited about this little guy in here, I'd probably be mad about the abuse. LOL.

Thursday morning at 9am is the fetal echocardiogram via ultrasound at the specialist's office, at which time I hope to have the opportunity to ask their opinion as to my continued care at the ob/gyn office I'm currently being seen at. They don't have a lot of experience dealing with a Down Syndrome pregnancy, which I've learned from some of the mommy's in different forums, it's not just the baby, but the whole pregnancy, placenta and all, that has DS. So, I've been patiently waiting for this upcoming opportunity to see what they think. I'll let you all know.

That's pretty much it from here. I hope you all have a great week, and talk to you soon!

Picnic!

Original post June 3, 2007 - Sunday


Picnic!
Current mood: happy
Category: Friends

Today was the DownSyndromeAssociation of Middle Tennessee's annual picnic.

It was held at a water park in Nashville, and I met lots of people, most of whom's names I already forget (chalk it up to Pregnancy brain, that's what I'm blaming it on) I DO remember I met Shelby, from my town (she's on here) and her husband and some of her kids, including little Wills, her sweet angel boy who is SO darling, and sweet sweet sweet.

I met a mommy named Honey (and I can't remember her hubby's name), but they were charming and informative and NICE.

AND I met Anara and her hubby (why can't I remember a husband's name?), and their beautiful babies, Clara and Allan. I LOVED them, and they might be moving to my town, which is fabulous, because Anara is an NICU nurse, on top of being a mommy to a special needs baby, and boy would I love to have her close!! She's the bomb, gave me a bag full of newborn boy clothes. AND she's a sweetheart! Daniel played catch with one of the little boys he met there and Rebecca made friends and went on the water slides. We met Scott, a young man of 23 with DS who enjoys country music and wrestling and he was fun to chat with. Shiela, the director of the association was SO nice, gave me the name and number of a great pediatrician, who cares for a number of the DS babies in the area. All in all, I'm SOOOO glad we went. I'm really tired, it was a HOT sunny day. But worth it. Oh yeah, I forgot (pregnancy brain) my camera. GRRRR. I'm so mad about THAT.

Baby Shower

Original post - June 2, 2007 - Saturday


Baby Shower
Current mood: optimistic
Category: Parties and Nightlife

Hello all! for those that will be participating, the date has been set, mark your calendars! August 11. It's a Saturday. I'm not sure of the time yet. I know it seems early, with a due date of October 5th, but there is an increased risk of PJ coming early, so it may not be as early as you'd think. Anyway, if you live in TN, you're invited. Shoot, even if you DONT live in TN, but want to come, come on! The more the merrier! My friends Cory and Helen (purple fairy) are throwing the party and it will be in Hendersonville. Please please please try to come, I worry about attendance.It's co-ed, so don't think just because you're male you're off the hook. Daniel does NOT want to be the only dude there.

Enjoy your weekend!!

Pregnancy update

Original post - May 23, 2007 - Wednesday


Pregnancy update
Current mood: calm
Category: Life

Well, I just got home from the Dr's, just the regular 4 week ob/gyn appt, where we talk about stuff, and then listen to little PJ's hearbeat, and measure the uterus. His heart rate is "perfect" says my dr, at 138 beats per minute. Everything else is "status quo". Next ob/gyn appt will be with a different Dr. in the group, 4 weeks from now. From this point forward, I'll see a different Dr. each time (I think there are 4) so that they all know me, for whenever PJ decides to make his appearance, the Dr on call that day will be prepared. No special plans will be made to deliver via cesarian, at this point in time. If as time goes on the baby seems to be "stressed", or they discover heart defects, then the plans will change. The fetal echocardiogram will be scheduled for sometime in approx 3 weeks. So, all is good. I've been attempting to learn and prepare for a baby with Down Syndrome ever since the diagnosis, but I'll never know enough, and I think about the women who find out at birth! I'd have a melt-down in that case for sure. So, the next scheduled news should be after the echocardiogram, which is fancy dr-ese for in-depth amnio at the fetal specialist so they can look at his heart and hopefully find nothing wrong!

Thanks for reading.
Love to all,
Kathy

Little PJ is now registered at Wal-Mart, Target, and Babies R us

original post - May 19, 2007 - Saturday


Little PJ is now registered at Wal-Mart, Target, and Babies R us!
Current mood: content
Category: Parties and Nightlife

Ok, so, I registered for the baby shower, that my best friends Helen and Cory are giving us. The date has not been set yet, but the co-ed shower will be at Cory's house. I've set it up so that anything purchased via the registry will ship to Cory's house, that way, it's a surprise to us for the shower. For those of you that can and want to help, feel free to do so. If you want to but can't, I totally understand, I'm in that position myself, almost always. No pressure, I just wanted to make it as easy as possible. I wasnt going to register at all 3 places, but I kept getting different recommendations from different people. My personal preference is Wal-mart, but maybe some of you don't feel that way. So, if you do want to participate, you have a choice.
As always, thank you to all my friends for your wonderful support and encouragement! It's incredible to me. Such a boost!

You can search under the website for each store, in the baby registry section, under my name kathy barr

Backs and Forths, Ups and Downs

original post - May 16, 2007 - Wednesday


Backs and Forths, Ups and Downs
Current mood: too many to name
Category: too many to name Life

Well, at nearly 4pm today I got the call with the preliminary results from the amnio. Our son has Down Syndrome. I've had lot's of emotions already, they come and go. I cried first, sad for him, for all that he won't have. Then I was relieved, because, after all, it meant I would have a baby, and he doesn't have one of the chromosomal abnormalities that would kill him. Next I felt guilty. Everybody knows that it's my old ass egg that caused it.

Daniel is super supportive, really excited, already talking about special olympics, and the like.

So that's where we are. I love this baby boy so much, and hope that I can be for him everything he needs from me. I will always share with you the latest, as I get it. Thank you so much for all your support and prayers, You've no idea what it's done for me. Please keep on.

Love,
Kathy

Amniocentesis

original post - May 14, 2007 - Monday


Amniocentesis
Current mood: calm
Category: Life

You know, chalk it up to pregnancy brain, old age, too much drugs in my youth, or a combination of all 3, but I don't remember letting you all know that Daniel and I decided to go ahead with the amnio that my ob/gyn AND the fetal specialists have been pushing for. I guess we decided that it's better to know, and this way, if there any special needs, even medically speaking, then we're giving the baby the best chance at survival, by having prepared not only ourselved, but the medical providers.

It's scheduled for tomorrow morning, 9:15am. Apparently there are no restrictions for me for afterward, so assuming I'm not feeling poorly, I'll be going to work afterward. (only restriction: no heavy lifting) The results from the amnio, I understand, aren't immediately available. I believe they take 7-10 days to grow, so I will not likely have any immediate news.

I just wanted you all to know. I know you all care, and will keep us in mind in your way.

Thanks for checking in!

It is no longer an "It"

Original post - May 7, 2007 - Monday


It is no longer an "It"
Current mood: excited
Category: Life

It's a BOY!! I sort of knew it. I mean, It's a pattern in my family. My OB/GYN told me that it was random, that patterns don't happen by some cosmic order. But, In my family, patterns are REAL. (even if I'm the only one who happens to believe in them) My Grandmother, My mother, My sister, and my oldest daughter have followed the pattern. 2 girls, and 1 boy. Sometimes the boy first, sometimes last, but never in the middle.

The fluid is still there, we saw it. We are standing on faith, all will be fine. The baby will be fine. Anyway, introducing Daniel (not junior, Daniel is junior... Daniel the 3rd)

UPDATE!!!! UPDATE!!!! UPDATE!!!! UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!!!

Originally posted April 13, 2007 - Friday


UPDATE!!!! UPDATE!!!! UPDATE!!!! UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!!!
Current mood: good
Category: Life

Ok, so it sounds really exciting, right? Well, ummm, it's not. It's not bad, either. Not a whole lot going on, really. Daniel and I thought, since it's 4 weeks between Dr. appts, and that one Doctor had given us so much negativity (your baby might not survive), that in order to have some peace of mind, we'd buy a baby heart monitor, for in between Dr. appts. So, it arrived on Tuesday, and I read the instructions, and used the goo, and searched and searched and searched, and could not find the heart beat. Tried again Wednesday morning, and still nothing. So, I wasn't really in a panic, but I was concerned, so I called the obstetrician's office, and they had me go in so that THEY could check for a heartbeat. They were unable to find it too. But my doctor, without wasting a lot of time searching, rolled in the portable ultrasound machine, and found my baby, heart beating, arms waving. I was so relieved. She told me that early in pregnancy, it's really not a big deal if the heart beat can't be found, the baby is little, and in my case, encased in a whole lot of belly. I'll be able to wait now, until my next appt, which is the 25th. It's just a regular appt, at which time I'll be 17 weeks along, and we'll schedule an in-depth ultrasound for the following week, where they'll do all kinds of measurements, and check for whatever they check for, and very possibly, determine the sex of the baby.

I'm feeling very good, physically, no morning sickness, it's really been a breeze so far. Mentally and emotionally I have moments of sadness and worry, but Daniel and Rebecca are great at talking me through them, and I'm mostly happy. The only other "symptoms" that seem pretty persistant are the really sore/tender boobies, and the energy level is pretty good until around 8:30 pm, at which time I get tired of hearing myself yawn! I've never been a late night person, but lately, once the sun goes down, i'm about done. So, that's it from my little part of the world.

I'll update again whenever there's something more to share, and thanks to every one of you for the love and support. I cherish it, and you.

Play the Hand You're Dealt

Originally posted March 28, 2007 - Wednesday


Play the Hand You're Dealt
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Hello Friends,
Once again, I miss you. My job is busy, and there isn't any "goof off on the internet time". It's a hard adjustment to make, but please know that as I can, I'll stop by and love you some.

Monday was the "early screen", which is an ultrasound done for women at about 12 weeks of pregnancy, when they are over 35, because of the additional risks to baby. The have to do it at that early stage, because you can still see inside the baby, because the skin is still somewhat translucent. The actual test is called "nucal translucency screen" because it has to do with the neck of the baby. Apparently, as I've come to learn, when a child has a chromosomal defect, (most common being Downs Syndrome) there will be extra fluid around the neck, and they can measure it, only at this early stage, because of the ability to see it with an ultrasound.

Occasionally, a baby will have more than the normal amount of fluid, and NOT have anything out of the ordinary wrong with it. My baby has the extra fluid. We were rushed off to a fetal specialist for a consult on monday, at which time a very nice doctor advised us that there's a 40-50% chance that our baby has a chromosomal defect, and in fact, there's a chance the baby may not even survive. I spent the rest of the day weeping. Not for a "normal child", but for a child at all. I was crushed to know that my baby may not even make it. My brother in law brought it to my attention the next day on the phone, that if there's a 40-50% chance of a chromosome problem, then there's a 50-60% chance that there ISN'T one. It's possible that my baby will make it. The specialist talked us into a procedure similar to an amniocentesis called CVS, where they go into the uterus, very near the baby, and pluck a tiny piece of placenta to test for downs, and other things. There's a risk of miscarriage, 1 in 200. We did the test, and the Dr. was unable to get a viable sample, and did not want to further risk the baby, so he stopped, and offered an amniocentesis in 3 weeks time. Daniel and I have talked about it, and have agreed, we won't endanger the baby again. It is what it is, and we'll love it if we can just have it. I have a friend who had a Downs child, and I distinctly remember telling him how God only chose very special people to deal with such loving children. I meant it, I wasn't stroking his ego. I remember at that time, that I knew I could NEVER handle a special needs child, I'm too selfish. Well, I may be learning some new lessons on love and selflessness.

Everything will be what it will be, which is still unknown at this time, but I do have hope. I would ask all of my friends to bless us, however you choose to do so; in prayer, positive thinking, candle lighting, meditation, whatever. Daniel and I are sure of one thing, for us, It's a baby, not a choice.

Kathy's new ride!

Originally posted March 25, 2007 - Sunday


Kathy's new ride!
Current mood: thankful
Category: Automotive

Hello my peeps! I hope that you all are having as lovely a weekend as I am. Even though most of my day was spent on the road yesterday, it was definately worth it! I got my new car. It's an '05 Pontiac Montana. It's got quite a few bells and whistles, and honestly, in my life time I have never had a car that did. I ALWAYS had to choose "economical", "gas conservative", "low payments", etc, etc, and usually ended up with a car that got me places, but wasn't, "special". Daniel insisted I have it this time, and I relented. The payments are reasonable, thanks to my mom, who I love anyway, but she really hung the moon for us on this one.

I've been Traded!

Originally posted March 15, 2007 - Thursday


I've been Traded!
Current mood: frustrated
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

I'm still not sure how all of this will play out, but I need to tell you what's up in the job dept. lately. I've been with this firm for just over 3 years. On Tuesday, my boss tells me I'm being "lent" to a friend of his, a Dr., who also happens to run an Emergency Room Physicians Group, more than one, in fact. Basically he owns the doctors who work the Emergency Room at a certain hospital. (he doesn't really own them, this I know, but for simplicity of explanation, indulge me, ok?) He also has administrative staff, to keep track of the records for billing purposes, among other things, I am sure. So, my lawyer boss tells me I am NOT being laid off, and not to freak out, it's a way for his friend who is in need of a "good worker" to benefit, for me to benefit, as this Dr. fellow will pay me significantly more per hour to work for him, and my law firm to benefit, because right now, for this particular firm, business is slow and there's not a lot of income at this particular time.

I'm being "lent" because of my current "eating for two" status. My boss thinks enough about me to show me as a continued employee of the company in order for me NOT to lose my insurance benefits in this critical time.

I'm working "on site" at a hospital, even farther than what I was already driving, which is fine, if my car survives, part of the hospital policy for employees is to have a TB (tuberculosis) skin test, no biggie, except I know that I was exposed over 20 years ago, on my honeymoon in marriage number one, when we went to Honduras, and have tested positive ever since. I don't have TB. I guess I am at a greater risk than most, however of getting it because I was exposed at some time. So the way to prove I don't have TB is with a clear lung x-ray, which I don't happen to have a current one on file anywhere. I understand hospitals have rules, like anyone else. ... I am 11 weeks pregnant, however, and not really wanting to subject my baby to any unnecessary radiation. I am placing a call to my obstetrician this morning to ask her opinion. I did some online research, and it looks like it's probably safe, but I'm really not excited about it, you know? It appears I will have no internet access, so my time with you will be even shorter than before, please understand, it's not by my choice. So, being the suspicious natured person I am, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, I'll keep you up to date as things progress.

How good it feels to be home

Originally posted March 12, 2007 - Monday


How good it feels to be home
Category: Writing and Poetry

Coming home on the most beautiful day,

To the arms of those that love me.

Knowing that I belong to my family,

and that they belong to me,

that I am needed, as much as I need them.

This is the kind of joy that brings tears with unending smiles.

I am home, I am happy, I am complete.

update on mom, and other things

Originally posted March 6, 2007 - Tuesday


update on mom, and other things
Current mood: content
Category: Life

I wish there was a blog category named "family"

Ok, I've been here at my mom's in Raleigh NC, since Saturday, and will be here until Monday morning, when I will joyfully return home to my daughter Rebecca and my husband Daniel. I miss them so much.

Mom is doing very well, I was finally able to get her first physical therapy appointment scheduled for this Thursday, so I am hoping for even more improvement. She came home from the rehab center on Sunday, and is doing very very well. To all my friends who have prayed for her, thank you so much. She still needs a walker to walk, but has very little pain, for having had steel rods drilled into her spine. I'm very very pleased with how her recovery is going, and she is happy too. This is the 2nd surgery that she's had in the same location, and the last recovery was horrible.

I am loving being pregnant, so far very few symptoms of pregnancy, other than my breasts aching all the time, and emotional crying jags every now and again. Rebecca is thrilled that she will be a big sister, finally. Isn't it odd that I seem to have a child once every 11 years? 1985, 1996 and 2007. Very, very strange to me, kind of reinforces my theory on patterns. If it holds true, (my random pattern theory) This baby will be a boy. My grandmother, my mother, my sister AND my daughter have had 2 girls and a boy. I was holding steady at 2 girls.

So, there you have my blog update, Oh!! Please take a look at my new layout. Am missing being home, but mom is loving having me here, and she is excited about the news of our growing family.

hugs and love to all!

Kathy

"No Shit" "What the Hell were You Thinking" & "Shut the F_ _ _ Up"

Originally posted March 1, 2007 - Thursday


"No Shit" "What the Hell were You Thinking" & "Shut the F_ _ _ Up"
Current mood: shocked
Category: Life

Those were some of the responses we've gotten since yesterday, as, one by one, we started sharing the news, "Kathy & Daniel are going to have a baby".

Crazy huh? I've been reluctant to spread the news, it's very early, and as anyone can see by my profile data, I'm getting up there. Also, being a woman, it's part of who I am to worry, about things I have no control over.

So, anyway, I was thinking that I couldn't get pregnant, that's what I was thinking. Clearly, I was wrong.

I just found out yesterday morning with the EPT, and called the obstetrician and was able to get in there today. Nowadays, a positive EPT is as good as gospel, but to confirm, they rolled in this ultrasound machine, and took a snap of my little peanut. Here he or she is, ladies and gents, Baby Barr.....

Back Surgery

Originally posted February 22, 2007 - Thursday


Back Surgery
Current mood: distressed
Category: Life

My mom had back surgery two days ago. Mom is 66 years old, lives alone since my dad passed away, 7 years ago. Mom lives in NC, as most of you know. I'll be going down there coincident with her release from rehab, (hopefully) in about a week and a half. I'll be there a week and a half, then my brother Ray will be there for a few weeks. I hate not being there for this. My daughter Danyse is doing all that she can, but she's young and has babies at home and cannot be there as much as we'd all like her to be. It's so hard to be "hands-on" on the phone, the nurses won't tell me anything, I haven't heard from the surgeon. I did leave a voice mail for the surgeon a little bit ago, hopefully I'll hear from him and get the reassurance that I need that she's going to be ok. Mom's been running a fever and now something about red blood cell count down, may need a transfusion, blah blah blah. I guess I'm just whining, because I feel like I should be there, taking care of her, not here, moaning to you all. Thanks for listening, and for sending any positivity that you can, my way, and hers.
much love,
kathy

Tuesday Blues (feels like a monday)

Originally posted February 20, 2007 - Tuesday


Tuesday Blues (feels like a monday)
Current mood: amused
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Hi, all! Ok. So, I've been scarce, right? I'm actually working, pretty hard. Apparently it has come to the attention of my fine employers that I've been having more fun on myspace than is acceptable to them.

I do understand the simple, basic concept, they pay me to work, I should work.

I'll be around less, but don't hate the player, hate the game! (lol) I still am luvin' all y'all mentally, if not comment-ally. (Oh, god, I'm on a roll!)

Have a great week!
Love to all, hugs to most, kisses to a select few, and tickles to about 3 of you, and you know who you are!!

Long Lost Friends

Originally posted February 13, 2007 - Tuesday


Long Lost Friends
Current mood: peaceful
Category: Friends

I have a beautiful story to share, at least, the way it touches MY heart, makes it beautiful to me. I had a best friend, back between my ages 10-12. She was a few years older than I, and I SO looked up to her. We lived in a small apartment complex in Southern California, and for a time, we were inseperable. She and I were both "fatherless" in the sense that our parents were divorced, and we were so close. We got in lots and lots of trouble together, as kids do. Her mom ended up moving to another town, and naturally, that was pretty much the end of that. I saw her I think twice, in a short period of time after that, once, I actually boarded a bus and rode for a few hours to get to her house to visit with her, and then once again, a few years later after she had married, and was having a baby shower. That was it. Life took over, and we lost touch. I think about her often, forgetting more than I remember. I have, over the years, in this internet age, done searches for her, but never found anything. Until last week. You know how in your home page in Myspace, they are filling up the part above your friends with little advertisements? Well, one day last week I clicked on a link that advertised finding people. With that link I found the city and state that she lived in. Then I did a myspace search in that zip code, didn't find her, but I did find a couple of her now adult children, (lucky for me, I remembered their names!) I wrote to them, giving them enough facts about their mom so they wouldnt think I was some wierdo stalker, and they communicated with her, and now, we are emailing, she doesn't have a myspace page, YET, but I'm working on her. It has been SO much fun catching up. I have the kind of personality who does better with one really good friend at a time. She was my best ever friend in the world, and I truly loved her like a sister. I have this really great feeling of peace, because of this recent find, and am happy. She lives on the other side of the country, so I don't know when I'll get to see her, but for now, it's enough. It's so much more than it's been all these years, I'm feeling very lucky, very satisfied.

3 years, 3 days

Originally posted February 7, 2007 - Wednesday


3 years, 3 days
Current mood: discontent
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

I've been an employee at this current job for 3 years and 3 days. I was hired to start on February 4, 2004. It's a great job, great employers. Family run law firm. 2 of of the 3 brothers are lawyers and the other brother is the office manager. They are all my bosses, since the firm has their name. They are really great guys, all of them. Extremely laid back, which is why it's been so easy to stay on here. Really not too much stress, generally. It just hit me this morning that I've been here 3 years and 3 days. I know here and there I blog about returning to NC. Today I feel like I could walk into one of 3 different offices and give notice, and have my stuff packed and be gone 2 weeks from now. I won't, it's not how I do things, normally. I'm just really tired, I guess, of being here. Sorry to whine, but hey, I'm a female, and we do this sometimes.

Again, I wish I was a kid again, able to just do what I'm told, leaving the big decisions for someone older and wiser. Being a grown up is not so easy sometimes.

new me, week 15

Originally posted January 29, 2007 - Monday

new me, week 15
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Life

OK, I'm re-doing this report, I just tried to post, and the page disappeared.

I'll cut to the chase. I gained a pound. I ate pizza twice, and did not exercise. I'm mad at myself.

I wont continually post negative results, which means I may not post next monday, at least about this subject. I'm not sure, but maybe I just need a break from the diet. I will get back to it, I'm just not sure when. I am packing a nice healthy, lo-cal lunch for me today, so we'll see how I do.

New Me, week 14 (17 since the beginning)

originally posted January 22, 2007 - Monday


New Me, week 14 (17 since the beginning)
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Life

Good Morning All, and Happy Monday!

Well, here I am, back again, confessing failures and shortcomings... (story of my life). I learned something this week, once you allow the IDGAFs to get a foot-hold, they are quite difficult to shake (IDGAF = from last week's blog, I Don't Give a Fu*k) They haven't completely taken over, and I'm TRYING to get it back together, but I spent the whole week cheating, not over-eating, just not eating the right lo-cal foods. I managed to pull it out at the very end, and lost one pound, bringing my weight loss to a grand total of 40 lbs. I'm happy about the 40, very... I need an attitude adjustment , though, to get back "in the zone".

It's a lot harder when your spouse isn't really doing it with you. I know, ultimately it's my body, my health, and my responsibility. I do know all of this.

Anyway, I wish I could say that for sure, without a doubt, this week WILL be better, but I don't want to make myself a liar. I'm trying, I feel good. That's the best I can do, for now.

Hugs to all!

New Me, week 13 (16 since the beginning)

Originally posted January 15, 2007 - Monday


New Me, week 13 (16 since the beginning)
Current mood: amused
Category: Life

Happy Monday everyone! Not much to report, I did a little cheating last week, and since I haven't done any exercising (aside from the bowling) since leaving for vacation, I did not lose any weight. I didn't gain any, either, thankfully. I guess I just got a little over confident, and a small case of the "I don't give a fuc*'s". Weight loss to date 39 lbs. Am back on track, got on the weight bench this morning for a few sets, and a couple sets of crunches. I'm not stopping, just had a lull, one of my own making. The Ice Cream and fried foods were great! But now I'm back to it. I hope you all have a great week!!
Much much love,
Kathy

New Me, in the new year

Originally posted January 8, 2007 - Monday


New Me, in the new year
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Life

Good morning to all and happy new year! It's been what, 3 weeks since I reported my diet progress? (yes, I just checked). ok. so. 3 weeks. almost 1/2 of that 3 weeks was spent out of town, at mom's, daniel's mom's, daniel's dad's, and they all fed us, and fed us well. Although I was OFF my diet, I was more conservative in my eating than in past years. I didn't go to the candy dish, which mom always keeps full at Christmas time. Any way, when I got home, I weighed, and I had gained one pound. I was ecstatic, to say the least. Now that it's back to monday morning, I weighed again and have lost the one I gained, plus two more, So, since last report, i'm down 3 additional pounds, bringing my total to 39 pounds in 12 weeks of trying. (I excluded the 3 weeks of NOT trying. But it's 15 weeks since I began reporting. So anyway, I'm very very happy. I'm not thin, I still have many many pounds to lose, but I am going strong.

Love to all,
Kathy

New Me, Week 11 Results

Originally posted December 18, 2006 - Monday


New Me, Week 11 Results
Current mood: happy
Category: Life

Hello One and All !! Merry Christmas, if I don't get a chance to stop by and leave some Christmas love on your page, don't hold it against me, If you are a grown-up with children, you know how wonderfully busy it gets for us this time of year.

I was able to shave off (not literally) another 2 lbs last week, bringing me to a total of 36 pounds lost in 11 weeks. I am so happy, considering the fact that Daniel and I, while Christmas shopping on Saturday, (from 7:00a.m. to 1:00pm) got very hungry around 11:00am and stopped at Golden Corral in Franklin, for the breakfast buffet. (shame shame shame) it was yummy, but i had to work extra hard for the rest of the weekend to reverse saturday's damage. All in All, I'm a happy happy girl. Love to all,

Kathy

new me, week 10 results

Originally posted December 11, 2006 - Monday


new me, week 10 results
Current mood: good
Category: Life

Good morning to all. Short and sweet, I made NO changes in weight last week. I guess my body was using the week to process the 6 lb loss from the week before. I didn't get as much exercise as I have been getting, I was hungrier and therefore found myself eating a bit more. I think if I can get by this month without major fluctuation (gain), I'll be happy. Well, that's it from me for now.
Take care all, have a great week!!

new me, week 9 results, and other stuff, too

Originally posted December 4, 2006 - Monday


new me, week 9 results, and other stuff, too
Current mood: worried

Good morning to all. I wanted to thank everyone for the support and concern they've shown for us all with Daniel's grandmother being ill. Daniel drove up to Akron Friday, spent Friday evening, most of Saturday, and Sunday morning with her. She has always been his biggest fan, biggest supporter, when all the rest of his family had given up on him, she never did. He loves her not only as his Grandmother, but she raised him in the beginning years of his life, so she's also more like his mother. The condition she has is nicknamed C.Diff, and it's killing her. They are going to put a feeding tube in either today or tomorrow to try to get some nourishment into her before she starves to death. Daniel is an emotional mess right now, so please, continue your prayers, well wishes, positive thoughts and energy. Rebecca had strep throat last week, but is doing well, back to school, no longer contagious. It's been a bad week.

On to the diet. This will be the last time I report HIS progress, for a while anyways, because he's just about mentally DONE with it. He's unable to be excited about weight loss, and I don't wanna have to post weight gain or no loss for him week after week. He did not gain, but did not lose, so he's holding steady right now at 27 lbs lost.

I, on the other hand, am still very excited about my progress, the diet, the fitting into things I haven't fit into for a very long time, etc. etc.
Since last week's blog on monday, I have lost an additional 6 lbs, putting me at 34 pounds in 9 weeks. I am ecstatic. Thrilled. Very happy about this part of my life.

That's where we are for the moment. Thanks so much for reading, and have a great week.

(updated today 6/24/07, Daniel's grandma is home and doing well)

New Me, week 8 results

Originally posted November 27, 2006 - Monday


New Me, Week 8 Results, Thanksgiving Week
Current mood: blank

So, I guess you all might have wondered. Or at least SOME of you wondered,
the results.

Daniel and I both gained one pound last week. It's crazy, I know, for us to be so similar in our gains, losses, when we are so different in our diet strategies, what we eat, how much, etc etc. It's very odd.

Any way, not giving up, not discouraged, have gotten right back with it and I am thankful it wasnt more weight.

Love you all for reading, see you next week, if not before.

New Me, week 7 results

Originally posted November 20, 2006 - Monday


New Me, week 7 results
Current mood: happy
Category: Life

Hi all, guess what time it is? It's diet report time. I'll get right down to it, since I don't have a lot to expound on...

Daniel lost 4 pounds this week!!, bringing his total to 28 lbs lost.

I lost 2 pounds, putting me at 29!!

I am so excited! HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY. We should be getting a digital camera soon, (ordered off E-bay) so new pics will be coming.

Love and hugs to all, and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Grandchild number three and plans for Christmas

Originally posted November 17, 2006 - Friday


Grandchild number three and plans for Christmas

Hey every body, this blog is being written at 4:20am my time, and even though I've been up since 3:20am, I'm not really very coherent, but will do my best....


Today at 4:00am eastern time, in the city of Cary, NC (Raleigh) Danyse my daughter gave birth to CJ. (Calvin Jr.) He weighed in at 7 lbs 3 oz. and she hadn't been told his length yet. My mom was there with her, along with Calvin and his mom, all night at the hospital, and took pictures. I gave DD instructions to give to my mom. Get the pics developed NOW, and send me the disc NOW. Hopefully I will have pics to post soon.

I sure would have loved to have been there as well, but all of my paid time off is gone for the year. I will be getting the week of Christmas off, paid, since our office traditionally closes with pay to the employees. And plan to spend that time with my family in NC.

Daniel, Becca and I will be in Raleigh for Christmas, and closer to NYE we'll be in the Charlotte area.

November 14, 2006 - Tuesday

Ebay Current mood: happy Category: Jobs, Work, Careers Hello all, I am blogging to let you know that Daniel and I are going to try the Ebay thing. Don't know if we'll be successful or not, but we're going to give it a try. if you want to see our ebay profile and what we have, you can go here: For now, we're just selling sports trading cards and memorabilia, but may expand if it goes well, I'll certainly keep you posted.

New Me, week 6 results

Originally posted November 13, 2006 - Monday

New Me, week 6 results Current mood: cheerful Category: Life Hi. Anybody getting sick of me yet? (j/k, if you are, I DON'T want to know) Ok, so, the totals for the week: Daniel gained a pound adjusting his total for 6 weeks to 24 lbs lost. Kathy lost 2 pounds bringing my total for 6 weeks to 27 lbs lost. Daniel bought a treadmill from a co-worker who's grandmother gave it to him because the grandfather for whom it was purchased wasn't using it. So, supposedly it was a really nice one, hardly used, for $100. "Great" I said, "Awesome", I said. He brought it home on Friday. I walked for about 7 minutes before I started smelling smoke and the damn thing stopped so fast I almost fell on my face!! When Daniel tried it out to make sure it worked before bringing it home, he just turned it on. It'll run forever with no weight on it, i guess. He actually said (while trying to figure out what the problem was) "Maybe you're too heavy" Well, gee, ya think? He didn't mean it like that, but it was kind of masochistically comical. So, I said, "well, that's why I wanted a treadmill, to help with the fitness and weight loss. I can't lose the weight first, then use the treadmill after", duh! Anyway, the co-worker really didn't know, he had it in his garage and never used it himself. He says he'll give Daniel the money back. So, I am back to trying to get to work early to use the treadmill they have here. (it's a better quality treadmill, anyway)

New Me, week 5 results

Originally posted November 6, 2006 - Monday

New Me, week 5 results Current mood: happy Back again with more good news!! The weight keeps coming off. "Slow and steady" is the phrase for the week I lost another 2 lbs, Daniel lost 3. Total in 5 weeks, 25 lbs. each.

New Me, week 4 results

Originally posted October 30, 2006 - Monday

New Me, week 4 results Current mood: excited Category: Life week 4, results Daniel lost a pound, bringing him to a total of 22 I lost 4 lbs, bringing me to a total of 23 lost. yay yay yay yay for us! I started walking, last monday, on the treadmill at work, so I can be sure of the distance. one mile on monday, tues, wed, and thurs. (couldnt friday cause i was running late) no cardio on the weekend, but some lite weight training and situps, seems to be working, folks. I'm super duper excited, on a roll, cookin' with gas, jazzed!!

New Me, week 3 results

Originally posted October 23, 2006

New Me, week 3 results

Ok, so, here's the scoop. I felt good all week, thought I was being good, following the "diet" and working out.
But:
I was worried all week, too, because by last night, I had put on 2 pounds, and it was aggravating, because I was NOT CHEATING. I wrote a friend of mine, who is a former power lifter, personal trainer and nutrition counselor, and told her my concerns, I asked her for some input, (something positive, please) She told me that muscle DOES weigh more than fat, that if I am ONLY lifting weights as exercise, I WILL gain weight, even though I'm losing fat, in the beginning. She said I need to add some cardio training into my exercise, which I knew, I just dont like going outside to do it. She also indicated that as my muscles get stronger and more fit, they will help me burn more fat. Anyway, late last week I remembered that the people I work for have a little gym set up in one of the vacant offices in this building (they own the building) In it, are weights, a weight bench, and a TREADMILL!!! Friday I walked for about 15 minutes, went 3/4 of a mile. I was excited. This morning, I walked about 20 minutes, and did one mile!! (I actually jogged for 1/8 of that mile!!) It's my intention to come to work dressed in sweats and tennies, get here early, go get my cardio out of the way for the day, and then change and come to work. So, the end results for the end of week three,
Daniel lost another 2 lbs, for a total of 21 lbs so far for him,
I didn't lose, but I did get rid of those 2 lbs that I had "gained", so I'm still at 19 lbs for 3 weeks. I'm happy with that, because I know that my new heavy muscles are going to benefit me in the long run, and that's what I'm here for, the long run, not the short term.
Much love to all,
Kathy

p.s. thank you Cory, for setting me straight, I LOVE you!

New Me, week 2 results

Originally posted October 16, 2006

New Me, week 2 results
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Life

Hi friends,

Last week was a good week; we cheated a little, but with Subway sandwiches, not BigMacs and french fries! We also made adjustments to the diet we were following.

(For those who care, we started phase one of The South Beach Diet, which is very strict. NO sugar, NO bread, NO rice NO pasta, NO corn, NO peas, NO potatoes, NO carrots, but as much as we want of most other veggies. Basically {and I'm leaving lots out, go buy the book if you're seriously interested}, meat, eggs, lowfat cottage cheese, low fat cheese, and veggies.)

Phase 1 is supposed to last 2 weeks, but we were so pissed off by the end of week one, even WITH the amazing results, we knew that to try to continue another week like that might spell the end of our diet. (too many withdrawals from the Bank of Will Power – left us with a negative balance)

I wasn't sure how we would do with having made "adjustments" i.e. apples, rice cakes. I was worried about blowing it, and in truth didn't think that I had lost anything. Daniel is able to eat more than I, and cheat a bit more, without having negative results, because he's a man, for one, and two, he's on his feet all day working physical work. Me? I'm on my ass all day being mental – which does NOT burn the same amount of calories.

We also went and bought a weight bench and weights, and are starting to do some working out at the house. I'm gonna be buff!! (j/k)

So, after all is said and done, the results: another 4 lbs! Each of us!. Crazy isn't it? Neck and neck. Total of 19 lbs in 2 weeks. Woooohoooooo! I'm so over the top excited!

Again, update for you all next week, keep your fingers crossed for us.

Love and respect to all.

The Beginning of a New Me

Originally posted October 8, 2006

The Beginning of a New Me.
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Life

Hello friends, I have been rolling this one around all week. I wasn't sure if I was going to blog it, or keep it to myself. Well, I decided the more people who know and care, the better my chances (I hope). So, last week, both Daniel and I decided that it was time to do something about our weight problem. I've always been "chubby". But for the past several years, chubby doesn't really describe me. (It's not fair to the word) I really like the terms, "Voluptuous", "Rubenesque", "BBW (Big Beautiful Woman)", because they are flattering. But that's not what I see when I look in the mirror. (Thank God for sweet personalities, cute faces and big tits, or I'd really be sunk! Now, those of you who haven't ever seen me, probably don't see what I see, by my profile pics. Naturally, I don't have any pics posted of me that didn't come out well, but I promise, there are plenty. I am just vain enough to not want to show you those.

Any way, last week Daniel and I started a diet. In one week, I've lost somewhere between 12-15 lbs, depending where I stand on the piece of crap scale we have. I'm sticking with 15!! Anyway, next week, we'll buy a better scale and I hope to be able to report progress each week. I'm not so naive as to think the reports will be this amazing, (15 pounds in one week!! OMG) but if I can maintain a consistant weight loss, something every week, I'll just be tickled. Daniel, had the same weight loss amount as I did. We're both very very pleased.

Family, legal and binding

Originally posted August 9, 2006

Family, legal and binding
Current mood: happy
Category: Life

Yesterday was a terrific day in the Barr household!! Let me share. (I have to start with some history)

Daniel and I met and fell in love in July of 2000. Rebecca was 3 at that time. I had been separated from her biological father for a year and was processing the divorce. Daniel and I married in March, 2001. So were right at about 5-1/2 years married. Any way, About 6 months ago, he and I were outside on the back porch, having a conversation when he told me that he wanted to adopt Rebecca. It came out of the blue, I had no idea that he felt that strongly, but he was very clear, and said that hed said what he wanted to say and wouldnt bring it up again. Well, I thought long and hard, because I was kind of against it at first. I wasnt trying to be selfish; I just worried that if Daniel and I end up not making it the distance, it would be harder for her to take. As I took my time deciding, I watched them interact. I know that Daniel is 50 times the father to Rebecca than her bio-father ever was. I know that Rebecca loves Daniel as her father, and it seemed unfair that she was unable to carry his last name, as I do. I would never have suggested or pushed this on Daniel, or anyone, for that matter, because to me, my children are MY responsibility. So I had to struggle with my own understanding of parenting, and sharing. I finally got there. With some loving advice from people I respect, I worked it out in my own mind, and gave Rebecca the father she loves, and gave Daniel the daughter he adores. The judge approved the termination of bio-fathers parental rights and the adoption yesterday 8/8/06. Daniel said it was one of the best things ever to have happened to him. I hope he still thinks so when she becomes a teen-ager. LOL.

Special thanks to my Employer, Attorney Doug Omer, for helping me out at cost, because it would have been impossible otherwise.

Also thanks to my sister, who came along and snapped a few pictures.

Animals, Light Sleepers, and Weekends

Originally posted April 29, 2006 (and yes, we still have the animals)

Animals, Light Sleepers, and Weekends
Current mood: awake
Category: Life

Well, I'm up. I've been up since 5:00am, and this because, yes, as you've probably guessed, I'm a light sleeper, and we have pets, and they don't care that it's Saturday. The cat, Nemo, she's spoiled. She gets fed as soon as I get up... And, since Monday thru Friday the alarm goes off at 5:00am, why then, oh why, shouldn't I get up at 5:00am on weekends too!! She meows at the bedroom door, which is closed, because I don't want her in there, keeping me awake all night. Benji too. He's a dog that looks like a Black Lab, Weimerarner, Greyhound mix. And he has floppy ears, and at 5:00am, with the cat yowling at the door, he's shaking the cobwebs out and flopping his ears... flopflopflopflopflop. I'm on my second cup of coffee. I'm not really the "animal lover" you'd think, we actually "babysit" Benji and Nemo, they're my sister's pets. She's a trucker, so we're the caretakers. It'll be nice when that's no longer the case. Whenever that happens to be.

Well, thanks for listening. Have a nice weekend!!

What Uncontrolled Anger Does

Originally posted April 3, 2006

What Uncontrolled Anger Does
Current mood: calm
Category: Friends

Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.
(Most importantly the last sentence)

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole.